Quote from Sergeant Jeffords in the episode Renewal
Frank O'Sullivan: What's in the box?
Sergeant Jeffords: An early draft of the lyrics to "We Didn't Start the Fire."
Frank O'Sullivan: "Eisenhower, vaccine, side salad, mixed greens." What is this?
Sergeant Jeffords: Well, I guess, while he was writing the song, he must have accidentally included his lunch order. Anyway, that's 10K.
Frank O'Sullivan: Oh. What's the sticky stuff?
Sergeant Jeffords: Yes. I grabbed that out of the trash in his dressing room. It must be gum. Look, I'm so sorry. Just let me have that back.
Frank O'Sullivan: Ah-ah, not so fast. This has been in William Martin Joel's mouth. His tongue touched this.
Amy: [in ear piece] Wait. What's happening?
Sergeant Jeffords: What's this, now?
Frank O'Sullivan: That is $10,000. And I'm keeping the gum.
Amy: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Quote from the episode The Tagger
Sergeant Jeffords: You should take my minivan.
Rosa: A minivan? Ha ha.
Sergeant Jeffords: You all got a problem with my minivan? Because my wife doesn't like it either. She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man. They roll!
Quote from the episode Beach House
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.
Quote from the episode The Slump
Charles: Hey, Sarge. I need someone to fill out a line up. Will you be scary Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking.
[cut to:
Sergeant Jeffords: This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market!
Quote from Captain Holt
Rosa: What am I doing?
Jake: You, Charles, and Scully will be here, distracting Kevin and making sure he doesn't know Holt's working.
Captain Holt: And who will be on Cheddar duty?
Rosa: I mean, can't we just distract him with a bone?
Captain Holt: Bone? Bone?
Jake: Yeah.
Captain Holt: [yelling] Bone? Cheddar's not some street rat.
Quote from Captain Holt
Captain Holt: I'm gonna check those CompStat numbers right now. I'm just gonna click on this video link entitled "Handyman fixes squeaky door, [bleep] customer."
Jake: Oh, my God.
Quote from Jake
Captain Holt: But I just received an email from my contact at One Police Plaza about our reform proposal.
Jake: Ah, yeah, speaking of that, now that the report is done, can you please tell Amy you're retiring? I don't like lying to her.
Captain Holt: So then you told her about the Top Shot?
Jake: I didn't need to because I traded it for an investment in The Rock's new cryptocurrency, which is currently worth... Oh, no, what happened to RockCoin?