Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 4193

Quote from Jake in the episode USPIS

Jake: Fine. I will do it as favor for you because you're a friend. But if he tells me one more time how USPIS mailed down the Berlin Wall, I'm going to give him your home address and you will receive holiday cards from him forever.
Rosa: My own relatives don't have that address.
Jake: Oh I know. I know.

Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode Halloween

Charles: Santiago, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it.
Amy: Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?
Jake: "Kind, sober and fully dressed." Good news, everyone. We found the name of Santiago's sex tape!

'USPIS' Quotes

Quote from Charles

Jake: Boyle, why don't you show Danger what a fax machine is.
Charles: Okay. Imagine a letter had unprotected sex with a phone.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Here, my email is-
Jack Danger: Uh, no email. I'll send it to you with r-mail, which is to say, real mail. Because email has put hundreds of my co-workers out of work.
How would you like it if they laid off all of your fellow detectives and partnered you with a robocop?
Jake: I've literally drawn sketches of that.
Charles: The robot has a backpack that can carry me.

Quote from Gina

Captain Holt: Santiago, I may need you to come in for a bit on saturday.
Amy: Again? Are you kidding me, man? (Gasps) I'm sorry. Let's start fresh. Hi!
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, my God.
Captain Holt: What just happened?
Gina: Her mind finally snapped, like a stale breadstick.

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