Charles: How long were we asleep?
Sergeant Jeffords: Just long enough for me to squeeze in a quick work out. So like three hours.

Sergeant Jeffords: You should take my minivan.
Rosa: A minivan? Ha ha.
Sergeant Jeffords: You all got a problem with my minivan? Because my wife doesn't like it either. She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man. They roll!

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.

Charles: Hey, Sarge. I need someone to fill out a line up. Will you be scary Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking.
[cut to:
Sergeant Jeffords: This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market!

Jake: You slept in your office and you look exactly the same. How?
Captain Holt: What are you talking about? My hair is a mess.

Charles: You just graduated pie school, bitches.
Sorry I said bitches, I'm just really worked up.

Sergeant Jeffords: He makes me feel so small!
Captain Holt: Well, who cares what he thinks? You're a police sergeant! You're a grown man!
Now take your nap. And if I see the lights on in here, I'm going to be very disappointed in you.