Captain Holt: Gary Shaw has attempted to pry me away from the NYPD for eight years. When he makes his offer, I know just what I'll say. Never's not just a crater on Mars.
Of course, it is a crater on Mars.
Charles: That's hilarious.
Captain Holt: It's not meant to be funny, Boyle. It's meant to be devastating.

Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch, circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?

Madeline Wuntch: Hello, Raymond. How do you like my new office? Twentieth floor.
Captain Holt: Yes, I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you.

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Gina: If Rosa had a twin, she would have eaten her in the womb.

Charles: Are you leaving us for Copperhead?
Gina: Because I am prepared to light Charles on fire in protest.

Sergeant Jeffords: My own office. With walls!
Charles: Did you tell him Terry doesn't love walls?
Sergeant Jeffords: No, Terry loves walls.