Jake: Who do you think it's gonna be?
Sergeant Jeffords: I've no idea.
Hitchcock: I bet it's me. I just hope I'm ready.

Amy: Hey, I think I found something interesting. I was double-checking last month's surveillance photos, and I noticed this. Hawkins has two different phones: her normal cell, and then this one that only has one app on the home screen Snapchat.
Hitchcock: Oh, she's up to something. Snapchat messages disappear. You can send anything to anybody, and after they see it, it's like I never sent it.
Captain Holt: Nobody ask Hitchcock why he knows that.

Sergeant Jeffords: Hitchcock called himself Scully by accident.
Hitchcock: I did, but it brought me and Scully closer together.

Amy: Hitchcock, why do you have your shirt off?
Hitchcock: Can't spill food on your shirt if you're not wearing one.

Captain Holt: Care to sit? I'm sure you'd like to take some weight off your cloven hooves.
Madeline Wuntch: Call me the devil, Raymond? How original.
Captain Holt: Actually, I was calling you a goat. You goat.

Sergeant Jeffords: We got the letter.
Captain Holt: Well done. Now get me Madeline and a bucket of water. It's time to melt a witch.

Rosa: Anyone over the age of six celebrating a birthday should go to hell.