Gina: And while I generally nail everything, I'm just having trouble balancing my studies and my passion for dance.
Sergeant Jeffords: Plus, you're working full-time.
Gina: Yeah, that actually doesn't factor into it whatsoever.

Gina: Is she crying?
Jake: A little.
Gina: You should be wailing you stone-cold bitch. Now call my other grandma.

Gina: All men are at least 30% attracted to me. My mother cried the day I was born, because she knew she would never be better than me. At any given moment, I'm thinking about one thing: Richard Dreyfuss hunkered over eating dog food. I feel like I'm the Paris of people.

Gina: Have you seen Captain Holt? Tall, handsome gentleman dressed like an airline pilot.

Jake: You were behind all this? You played me!
Captain Holt: Like Frans Brüggen plays the flute.

Jake: I've been planning this this theft for three months.
Captain Holt: I know, but I've been planning it for a year. Last Halloween, after you won the bet, I went back to my office to do everyone's paperwork, but I did no paperwork. I started to plot my revenge. I began by creating a word cloud.

Captain Holt: Just to clarify. If you steal my watch by midnight, I will do your paperwork for a week, but if you fail, you will give me five weeks of overtime for free.
Jake: Correct.
Captain Holt: I'm doing a cost/benefit analysis in my head. The benefits outweigh the costs. We have reached an accord.