Sergeant Jeffords: You want me to flex and make all the buttons pop off of my shirt?
Jake: Yes! You can do that?
Sergeant Jeffords: The challenge is keeping the buttons on.

Sergeant Jeffords: You should take my minivan.
Rosa: A minivan? Ha ha.
Sergeant Jeffords: You all got a problem with my minivan? Because my wife doesn't like it either. She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man. They roll!

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.

Charles: Hey, Sarge. I need someone to fill out a line up. Will you be scary Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking.
[cut to:
Sergeant Jeffords: This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market!

Rosa: Hey, you should run. Going to meetings, writing stuff down. You love that nerd stuff.
Amy: Writing stuff down is nerdy? What do you do?
Rosa: I just forget stuff like a cool person.

Jake: All right, I'm gonna win this case and then we can put my horrible sexual experience behind us forever.
Charles: I don't know Jake. I'm afraid I'm gonna think about it every time I look at your crotch.
Jake: Then stop looking at my crotch!

Sophia: Well, I didn't wanna intimidate you.
Jake: Intimidate? Wow. Okay, well, not to burst your bubble, but I'm only intimidated by professions that have a moral compass, like police officer.
Sophia: So you're intimidated by your own job?
Jake: Oh, look at me. I'm a lawyer. I'm so good at word-using-itude.