Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 5354

Quote from Jake in the episode Stakeout

Captain Holt: We told you eight days was too long for a stakeout.
Jake: With all due respect, sir, it wasn't the amount of time. It's who I was stuck there with.
I could easily have done it with Scully.
Captain Holt: Really? You would've applied that cream to his back?
Jake: No, I would've put it on the floor and let him roll around in it.

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode The Party

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

 ‘Stakeout’ Quotes

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: The hippo with heads on both ends, that's Hitchcock and Scully.
Amy: How do they defecate?
Sergeant Jeffords: It's a kid's book, Santiago!

Quote from Hitchcock

Hitchock: Looks like Boyle's out and Hitchcock's in. What do you want to do tonight? Go to a strip club? Have dinner with my wife?
Jake: Are those separate options, or does she live at the strip club?
Hitchcock: You wanna know, you gotta go.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Wuntchtime is over. Boom! Did it. Had it both ways. No regrets.

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