Charles: She is amazing. Her palette is wide and deep.
Jake: Gross.
Charles: And at one point, when she wasn't looking, I snuck a whuff of her hair.
Jake: Of course you did.
Charles: She uses one of my top three shampoos! Tahitian Coconut, Extra Lather.
Jake: Sounds good, Boyle. Did you get her number?
Charles: Ah, we lost track of time. She had to go back into court. When she's done, I'm going to ask her out.

Sergeant Jeffords: So we have good news, and we have bad news.
Charles: My Nana always said, "Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie." Fun fact: she made me cry a lot.

Sergeant Jeffords: Boyle! Were you dreaming about Jake again?
Charles: Why did you wake me up?! I told you never to wake me up!

Charles: Is the equipment secure?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Weapon loaded?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Did you have breakfast?
Jake: What? That's not on the checklist.
Charles: I added it because I care about you.
Jake: No, I did not have breakfast.
Charles: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Jake: Hey, there's little chocolate chips in this.
Charles: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.

Jake: Boyle, they found one of the stolen paintings at her house.
Charles: But she says she didn't know how it ended up there.
She's being set up.
Jake: Framed! Art joke. Continue.

Jake: Let's go free an innocent woman.
Charles: Nice. My dreams are coming true. You and me getting my lady off together.
Jake: I mean, you know how that sounds, right?

Captain Holt: Gina, as you predicted, there was some backlash to the poster campaign.
Gina: Yes. I'm the Nostradamus of your shame.