Sergeant Jeffords: I know it's crowded in there and they're not very considerate guests and they took my mouse and then they took my keyboard and then they took the whole computer. And when I had nothing else to give, they came for my yogurt. No, not just any yogurt. Full fat Greek with a touch of honey. That's a once a week treat!

Sergeant Jeffords: You should take my minivan.
Rosa: A minivan? Ha ha.
Sergeant Jeffords: You all got a problem with my minivan? Because my wife doesn't like it either. She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man. They roll!

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.

Charles: Hey, Sarge. I need someone to fill out a line up. Will you be scary Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking.
[cut to:
Sergeant Jeffords: This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market!

Charles: Massage! I'll give you a massage.
Gina: Charles, going in the wrong direction and getting himself disqualified. Interesting approach.

Gina: Captain, why are you doing this? You hate people in your space.
Captain Holt: Nonsense. I'm an easygoing chap.
Gina: Okay. I once saw you use a ruler to measure another ruler.
Captain Holt: It was off by half a centimeter. It never should've been in circulation.

Gina: "Orange Jake", going once, going twice.
Rosa: I'll show you a picture of me in high school. There is side-pony.
Gina: Rosa coming in hot! Rosa coming in hot!