Captain Holt: I made an application to the M.C. Guffin Foundation for a grant to upgrade our office equipment. Unfortunately, they require a video submission. I understand you have some filmmaking experience.
Gina: Well, you know, I've been re-Vined by Rob Kardashian, so, yeah, I'm a director.
Here's what I'm picturing: I enter, in, like, a Fellini-style getup. Rosa's dressed like a porcupine-

Sergeant Jeffords: And, Gina, you can't run that space heater 24/7 anymore.
Gina: Space heater? Excuse me, this is a Fornax Radiant Comfort System, and her name is Jacinta.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, well, Jacinta's gotta go.
Gina: He didn't mean that, darling.
Sergeant Jeffords: Seriously, turn off the space heater.
Gina: No.
Sergeant Jeffords: Do it, now. That's an order.
Gina: Yeah, well, you don't wanna start a battle of the wills with Gina Linetti because you will emerge from that battle a broken man. Not to brag, but I was name-checked in my kindergarten teacher's suicide note.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh my God.

Gina: It's Gina's phone. Leave me a voice-mail. I won't check it 'cause it's not 1993.

Gina: Is she crying?
Jake: A little.
Gina: You should be wailing you stone-cold bitch. Now call my other grandma.

Charles: Now, this just needs to cook for another 11 hours, 32 minutes, and 6 [boom]
Sergeant Jeffords: What the hell, Boyle! You almost killed me! I'm not going out in a stew-making accident! Terry's gonna die saving the President, or Terry's never gonna die!

Marge: And you, Santiago, maybe the world would like to see that draft of a memo you wrote where you used T-H-E-I-R instead of T-H-E-R-E?
Amy: Oh, you sick son of a bitch.

Captain Holt: So I just received word from our friend at the Guffin Foundation. Apparently they loved our video submission. What did you send them?
Gina: A cinematic masterpiece is what I sent them.
Captain Holt: Did it feature pizzazz?
Gina: No, none at all, sir. First, I couldn't wrap my head around that concept, but then I realized: do you know which dogs get the most likes on the internet?
Captain Holt: Anatolian Shepherds.
Gina: No, ugly little runts with wonky eyes and tongues that won't stay in their mouths.
Captain Holt: But the Anatolian Shepherd is unrivaled for protecting livestock.