Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 6581

Quote from Jake in the episode The Big House Pt. 2

Warden: Anyway, you're too late. We're confiscating all of Romero's soap as we speak.
Jake: Okay, how about this? Throw me in solitary. Right? That way, Romero can't get to me.
Warden: No, Glen's already coming down on me about giving too much solitary. And I don't wanna piss off Glen. Obviously.
Jake: What if I spit on you? You're the warden, right? That's gotta be at least a month in the hole. Oh, man, my mouth is all dried out from doing the meth. That's why you don't do meth.

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode The Party

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

 ‘The Big House Pt. 2’ Quotes

Quote from Hitchcock

Amy: Hey, I think I found something interesting. I was double-checking last month's surveillance photos, and I noticed this. Hawkins has two different phones: her normal cell, and then this one that only has one app on the home screen Snapchat.
Hitchcock: Oh, she's up to something. Snapchat messages disappear. You can send anything to anybody, and after they see it, it's like I never sent it.
Captain Holt: Nobody ask Hitchcock why he knows that.

Quote from Jake

Jake: So, I got assigned to this one rookie, and on his training day, I made him smoke angel dust at gunpoint. King Kong ain't got nothing on me.
Tank: Isn't that the plot and tagline of The movie "Training Day"?
Jake: Yes, great observation, Tank. That's because it's based on my life.

Quote from Charles

Amy: I understand, but we've been watching Hawkins for a month, and we have nothing to connect her to the robberies. Maybe we should pursue other routes.
Charles: Um, some of us are already pursuing other routes, Amy. [flashback] "This is Charles Boyle, and you're listening to A God in Shackles. This podcast is brought to you by Fun Frames, make your spectacles a spectacle."
Amy: And how is your podcast supposed to get Jake out of prison?
Charles: I lay out the facts, people see he was framed. I build an audience. I get a celebrity listener. It's Debra Messing. She tweets a link. Now Sean Hayes is involved.

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