Adrian Pimento: So is this a sexy stab in the face? Or an angry stab in the face?

Jake: Well, listen, we need your help.
Adrian Pimento: Great, who are we killing? I won't do kids. That's a rule. But that rule is negotiable if the kid's a dick.
Rosa: No, babe, we don't want you to kill anyone.
Adrian Pimento:What? Really?
Rosa: No.

Adrian Pimento: Uh, I'm scared of heights, Jake.
Jake: Yeah, so am I, Adrian.
Adrian Pimento: This might not be the time to tell you, but both my parents died falling out of lighthouses, separate incidents.
Jake: Oh, man, I have so many questions, but for now, just follow my lead, okay?

Adrian Pimento: No, no, no, I don't mess with computers, okay? Ever since I died of dysentery on the Oregon Trail, I was like, no thank you. I'm done with this.

Adrian Pimento: Hang on. Were you creeps watching that the whole time?
Sergeant Jeffords: Well-
Amy: Uh-
Adrian Pimento: I'm just kidding. I know you were. It's like an eclipse. You should always look at it with both eyes wide open. Full on.

Charles: It looks like the perp knew what he was after. All he took was a shipment of thousand-dollar limited edition Weezies designed by Little Wayne.
Jake: Oh, it's Lil.
Charles: Oh, like Lillian.
Jake: No.
Charles: Lillian Wayne.

Jake: We gotta solve this on our own. And I think I know how. I found a lead on the dark web.
Charles: Nice. The dark web. It's the only place you can buy quality bat meat.