Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 6769

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords in the episode The Venue

Sergeant Jeffords: Sir, I don't want any tension between the squad and the uniformed officers. I'm just thinking about the precinct.
Captain Holt: You're lying. You're upset because Teri-with-an-I called you arrogant, and you have a pathological need to be liked.
Sergeant Jeffords: What? No, I don't. I just happen to be a great person who's naturally beloved by all despite my personal ambivalence.

 Sergeant Jeffords Quotes

Quote from the episode The Tagger

Sergeant Jeffords: You should take my minivan.
Rosa: A minivan? Ha ha.
Sergeant Jeffords: You all got a problem with my minivan? Because my wife doesn't like it either. She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man. They roll!

Quote from the episode Beach House

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.

Quote from the episode The Slump

Charles: Hey, Sarge. I need someone to fill out a line up. Will you be scary Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking.
[cut to:
Sergeant Jeffords: This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market!

 ‘The Venue’ Quotes

Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Jeffords: Sir, can I get $350 in petty cash? I need to throw an ice cream party for Teri-with-an-I, make sure there's no hard feelings.
Captain Holt: Why? She gets it was a misunderstanding. She's a Teri, and you're a Terrance who, even though he's not a child, still goes by a nickname ending in a Y.
Sergeant Jeffords: I mean, don't people call you Ray?
Captain Holt: How dare you.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Teri: Excuse me?
Sergeant Jeffords: I said, "Terry's got butt for days!"
Teri: Please stop talking about my body.
Sergeant Jeffords: What?
Teri: I'm Teri. You just said I had "butt for days."
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I see what just happened. Terry's gonna regret this.
Teri: Are you threatening me?
Sergeant Jeffords: No! No, no. This is a misunderstanding. My name is also Terry, and I was talking about my butt.
Teri: So you were complimenting your own body?
Sergeant Jeffords: Well, I'm pretty proud of it. Do you know how old I am?
Teri: Okay. Apology accepted. Seems pretty arrogant, though.
Captain Holt: This might not be the right time, but talking about yourself in the third person has finally-
Sergeant Jeffords: Terry knows!

Quote from Scully

Captain Holt: What's going on here?
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm throwing Teri-with-an-I's party with my own money. I didn't know her favorite kind of ice cream, so I printed a photo of her and showed it to all the ice cream places within 30 blocks. Nobody recognized her, so I got every flavor, 200 pints.
Scully: This is the greatest day of my life.
Captain Holt: Have you considered this Teri-with-an-I might not be an ice cream person?
Sergeant Jeffords: I did think that. That's why there's a taco bar coming.
Scully: Yes!
Sergeant Jeffords: Plus barbecue.
Scully: Yes!
Sergeant Jeffords: Plus a popcorn guy.
Scully: [laughing] Yes!
Sergeant Jeffords: Plus vegan options.
Scully: Why?

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