Jake: Oh my God, I'm so glad Captain Holt finally agreed to let you come visit.
Amy: I missed you so much.
Jake: Me too.
Amy: Um, is there a way we could get a bit more privacy?
Kevin: Just pretend I'm not here. God knows I am.

Captain Holt: I brought you your box of DVDs.
Jake: Oh, thank you. Oh! Forgot about this one. We never watched "Captain Corelli's Mandolin".
Kevin: What the hell did you just say?
Jake: "Captain Corelli's Mandolin"?
Kevin: Say that to my face.
Jake: "Captain Corelli's Mandolin"?
Kevin: There was a movie about a mandolin, and you kept it from me for two months?
Jake: Well I didn't think it was any good. It's just some period piece.
Kevin: What?
Jake: Set in Greece.
Kevin: Oh, my God.
Jake: Based on some dumb book. *Kevin knocks the DVD out of Jake's hands* Aah!
Kevin: Terribly sorry. It has been a very trying time.

Jake: But going out into public is a huge risk, so maybe let's go over some self-defense techniques. *Kevin punches Jake in the throat* [gasps] [chokes] Usually, you warn somebody before you do that.
Kevin: Raymond told me that the element of surprise was crucial.
Jake: Cool. [coughs] So he's a great teacher. But I will say this. If you're going to do a throat punch, it is key that you say something cool afterwards like, "choke on that".
Kevin: Right, but they're not choking. They're experiencing airway trauma. Ooh, how about, "Better get some corticosteroids to treat that laryngeal fracture".
Jake: Okay, yeah, that's very informative and quite polite. [ahem] But maybe add a "dirtbag" on the end?
Kevin: But a dirtbag is a useful part of a vacuum. I don't see how it's an insult.
Jake: All right, you know, puncher's choice.

Jake: But sir, the stench. It needs some way to escape.
Kevin: I already feel as though I'm trapped inside of - What are those things you're always eating?
Jake: Pizza bagels? Pizza rolls?
Kevin: No. No.
Jake: Pizza poppers? Pizzaritos?
Kevin: No. No.
Jake: Pizza pockets?
Kevin: That's it. How much longer will I be forced to live inside this pizza pocket?

Captain Holt: Hello, Kevin. It's me, Raymond Holt. We need to get you to safety. Your life is in danger.

Captain Holt: I brought you your box of DVDs.
Jake: Oh, thank you. Oh! Forgot about this one. We never watched "Captain Corelli's Mandolin".
Kevin: What the hell did you just say?
Jake: "Captain Corelli's Mandolin"?
Kevin: Say that to my face.
Jake: "Captain Corelli's Mandolin"?
Kevin: There was a movie about a mandolin, and you kept it from me for two months?
Jake: Well I didn't think it was any good. It's just some period piece.
Kevin: What?
Jake: Set in Greece.
Kevin: Oh, my God.
Jake: Based on some dumb book. *Kevin knocks the DVD out of Jake's hands* Aah!
Kevin: Terribly sorry. It has been a very trying time.

Jake: But going out into public is a huge risk, so maybe let's go over some self-defense techniques. *Kevin punches Jake in the throat* [gasps] [chokes] Usually, you warn somebody before you do that.
Kevin: Raymond told me that the element of surprise was crucial.
Jake: Cool. [coughs] So he's a great teacher. But I will say this. If you're going to do a throat punch, it is key that you say something cool afterwards like, "choke on that".
Kevin: Right, but they're not choking. They're experiencing airway trauma. Ooh, how about, "Better get some corticosteroids to treat that laryngeal fracture".
Jake: Okay, yeah, that's very informative and quite polite. [ahem] But maybe add a "dirtbag" on the end?
Kevin: But a dirtbag is a useful part of a vacuum. I don't see how it's an insult.
Jake: All right, you know, puncher's choice.