Jake: You're right. It's gonna be great. Just got to stay positive. We're gonna see each other from across the room, we'll lock eyes, I'll say "noice," she'll say "toit," and then six months later, we'll be on "The Amazing Race" together.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Rosa: I'm sorry. I just don't think this is something you're good at.
Gina: What? The only thing I'm not good at is modesty, because I'm great at it.

Sergeant Jeffords: Captain Holt, I need a - what's going on?
Captain Holt: My doctor said I should be more active, but my squash club recently transitioned to racquetball. Since I'm not a dope-smoking hooligan, I decided to quit.

Amy: So, your sister's a bit of a nightmare.
Jake: I wouldn't say that. I mean, at most, she's a daymare.
Amy: Those are so much scarier.
Jake: Yeah.