Captain Holt: Jeffords isn't in the evidence locker.
Charles: He's not in the file room, either. I mean, there's nowhere left to hide. I'm worried.
Scully: Actually, I think I know where he is. I could take you there, but you need to wear blindfolds.
Captain Holt: No.
Scully: Okay. I guess he'll just die in Supply Closet F, then.
Charles: He's in Supply Closet F!
Captain Holt: Great work.
Scully: I'm sorry. I feel so stupid.
Hitchcock: Oh, it's okay. They tricked you somehow. I still love you, buddy.

Amy: Hey, I think I found something interesting. I was double-checking last month's surveillance photos, and I noticed this. Hawkins has two different phones: her normal cell, and then this one that only has one app on the home screen Snapchat.
Hitchcock: Oh, she's up to something. Snapchat messages disappear. You can send anything to anybody, and after they see it, it's like I never sent it.
Captain Holt: Nobody ask Hitchcock why he knows that.

Sergeant Jeffords: Hitchcock called himself Scully by accident.
Hitchcock: I did, but it brought me and Scully closer together.

Amy: Hitchcock, why do you have your shirt off?
Hitchcock: Can't spill food on your shirt if you're not wearing one.

Rosa: I'm sorry. I just don't think this is something you're good at.
Gina: What? The only thing I'm not good at is modesty, because I'm great at it.

Sergeant Jeffords: Captain Holt, I need a - what's going on?
Captain Holt: My doctor said I should be more active, but my squash club recently transitioned to racquetball. Since I'm not a dope-smoking hooligan, I decided to quit.

Amy: So, your sister's a bit of a nightmare.
Jake: I wouldn't say that. I mean, at most, she's a daymare.
Amy: Those are so much scarier.
Jake: Yeah.