Scully: Oh, is that the wedding dress from the Erica Somerfield 2018 fall collection?
Hitchcock: No way, the bodice is totally different.
Rosa: Why do you two know so much about wedding dresses?
Hitchcock: They're the only thing you can look at around here with safe search on!

Amy: Hey, I think I found something interesting. I was double-checking last month's surveillance photos, and I noticed this. Hawkins has two different phones: her normal cell, and then this one that only has one app on the home screen Snapchat.
Hitchcock: Oh, she's up to something. Snapchat messages disappear. You can send anything to anybody, and after they see it, it's like I never sent it.
Captain Holt: Nobody ask Hitchcock why he knows that.

Sergeant Jeffords: Hitchcock called himself Scully by accident.
Hitchcock: I did, but it brought me and Scully closer together.

Amy: Hitchcock, why do you have your shirt off?
Hitchcock: Can't spill food on your shirt if you're not wearing one.

Adrian Pimento: I'm an insurance investigator now.
Charles: I thought you were in Alaska.
Adrian Pimento: Oh, yeah, I was after Rosa and I broke up. But then I accidentally killed a "protected buffalo", self-defense. Next thing I know, Fish and Game are all over my ass. I ended up in a fight with a bear, and I had to think to myself, why am I even here?
Jake: Wait a minute. You fought a bear?
Adrian Pimento: Big time. The trick on that: head-butt him in the penis, push him over a cliff.
Jake: Ah, I bet that works with a lot of animals.
Adrian Pimento: Only the male ones. Learned that the hard way.

Adrian Pimento: I got a way better job now. I'm working at one of those fancy hand lotion stores. Spoiler alert: I have a gun again, and I've gotten to use it three times. You would be surprised how often teenage girls try and shoplift mango hand cream.

Rosa: So what do you think?
Amy: Mm, I don't love the sash. But it's fine. I'm just gonna get it.
Rosa: What? That's the first one you tried on. I once saw you look at 54 different accordion folders and not buy any of them due to weak tabs.
Amy: I file hard. I need strong tabs.