Charles: Let's go over the backstories. I can start.
Jake: Actually, it's maybe better for me to go first so you can make some internal edits before you say yours out loud.
Charles: Perfect. After you.
Jake: Great. My name is Axel Richards. I've been driving stolen cars since I was six years old.
Charles: Wow, that's young.
Jake: Oh, yeah. I had to use a Wiffle Ball bat to just reach the gas pedal, and I never learned to use the brakes.
Charles: That sounds so dangerous.
Jake: Not if you know what you're doing.
Charles: Great response.
Jake: Thank you. Anyways, things went south when I got addicted to drugs after my best friend died in an active shooter situation. Oh, I see what I did there.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Gina: Wait, first, let's say a prayer. Dear Beyonce, Solange, Rihanna, someone cool that's white, Cardi B, please bless this flush. A-women.

Charles: Hello? You know what, I'm trying to keep this line open, so I don't have time for your bull crap. Good-bye, Mom.

Gina: The first thing we gotta do, shut off the water supply. Did I do that? That's an Urkel reference, from the show "Family Matters." Do you remember that?