Sergeant Jeffords: I left my phone in the briefing room. It's been 20 minutes. You think they're still-
Hitchcock: They're not doing anything. Kissing just turned into talk. It's like, why even work here?

Sergeant Jeffords: Hitchcock called himself Scully by accident.
Hitchcock: I did, but it brought me and Scully closer together.

Amy: Hey, I think I found something interesting. I was double-checking last month's surveillance photos, and I noticed this. Hawkins has two different phones: her normal cell, and then this one that only has one app on the home screen Snapchat.
Hitchcock: Oh, she's up to something. Snapchat messages disappear. You can send anything to anybody, and after they see it, it's like I never sent it.
Captain Holt: Nobody ask Hitchcock why he knows that.

Amy: Hitchcock, why do you have your shirt off?
Hitchcock: Can't spill food on your shirt if you're not wearing one.

Amy: Scully and Hitchcock, you're in charge of seating.
Scully: Smart move, Amy. I've been called the Leonardo da Vinci of sitting on my ass.

Rosa: What do you have in there?
Captain Holt: A balloon arch.
Rosa: Oh, my God, Captain. She is magnificent.
Captain Holt: Vindication!

Adrian Pimento: I was my own sign the whole time? Wow, that's a real M.
Night Shyamalan twist- Oh! [snaps] "Signs"! [Jake and Gina gasp] Wait, do you think he's behind all of this?
Jake: I do not.