Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 8123

Quote from Jake in the episode Mr. Santiago

Jake: So, uh, what are you doing out here?
Victor Santiago: Sneaking a cigarette. I just can't quit. But you knew that, didn't you? Page 136.
Jake: What is that strange book you're holding? I've never seen it before.
Victor Santiago: "Jake Peralta's Guide to Tricking Amy's Dad."
Jake: What? Who put that there? Why did I use a title page?

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode The Party

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

 ‘Mr. Santiago’ Quotes

Quote from Adrian Pimento

Adrian Pimento: No, no, no, I don't mess with computers, okay? Ever since I died of dysentery on the Oregon Trail, I was like, no thank you. I'm done with this.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: My advice: don't be overconfident. The first time I met Kevin's parents, I called Brahm's "Funf Gesange" opus 106 when it is, obviously, opus 104. They haven't spoken to me since.
Jake: Really? Just for that?
Captain Holt: Yes. Also because they're huge homophobes who think that I made Kevin gay with my magic genitalia.
Jake: That's super sad, but I do like hearing you say the word "genitalia".

Quote from Jake

Jake: I know everything about him, therefore I know exactly the type of person I need to be in order for him to think I'm good enough for Amy.
Charles: No, Jake, you're fine. Just flash him your baby browns, he'll love it. Just be yourself.
Jake: Be myself? Charles, I have one day to win over Amy's dad. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Rosa: Couple weeks.
Sergeant Jeffords: Six months.
Captain Holt: Jury's still out.
Jake: See, Charles? "Be myself," what kind of garbage advice is that? I hope you're not telling Nikolaj that crap.
Charles: [correcting] Nikolaj.
Jake: Ugh.

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