Jake: The handwriting in the death threats matches perfectly with the inscription you wrote to Terry.
D.C. Parlov: Yeah, tell you the truth, I didn't actually write this inscription myself.
Both: What?
D.C. Parlov: Come on, you guys, grow up. You think I have time to answer each letter I get from every sad little fat kid that writes me? Come on. That's why I've got assistants, precisely for that sort of crap.

Captain Holt: Diaz, Santiago, settle a little tiff that Kevin and I are having.
Kevin: Let's be honest, Raymond, it's not a tiff, it's a row.
Captain Holt: And now it's a scene.

Rosa: Come on, sir, the math thing isn't the problem. Night shift's keeping you and Kevin apart. You two just need to bone.
Amy: [chuckles nervously]
Captain Holt: What did you say?
Amy: Don't say it again.
Rosa: I said you two need to bone.
Amy: [whimpers]
Captain Holt: How dare you, Detective Diaz. I am your superior officer! [shouting, five minutes later] Bone! [sternly, ten minutes later] What happens in my bedroom, Detective, is none of your business. [shouting, twenty-one minutes later] Bone?! [calmly, forty minutes later] Don't ever speak to me like that again.

Captain Holt: The Full Bullpen!