Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 8275

Quote from Charles in the episode Captain Latvia

Charles: Hey, you Melvin?
Melvin: I am, who are you?
Charles: I'm Charles, from being on hold, and I want my package.
Melvin: Yeah, I already told you, that package isn't here.
Charles: Well, I made a sacred promise to my son, and you're not gonna make a liar out of me, so why don't you take another look? We'll wait. 'Cause we've got all night long. [Charles picks up Melvin's mug and smashes it in his hand]
Jake: Damn.
Charles: Oh, I don't know if you knew this, but I'm a cop. So maybe this time, don't lie to me.
Melvin: Hey, I didn't know you guys were police.
Charles: Well, now you do, genius. [Charles smashes another mug]
Jake: How do you keep doing that?
Charles: I don't know.

Charles Quotes

Quote from the episode Greg and Larry

Charles: What about me? What if something happens to Jake, and he never gets to meet my baby? I don't want to hang out with some stupid baby who's never met Jake.

Quote from the episode Lockdown

Charles: Okay, but I thought since you were in charge, maybe I could be your right hand man? Your Tinker Bell?
Rosa: Tinker Bell?
Charles: Let me tell you something about Tinker Bell. Tinker Bell is a loyal lieutenant and a real thorn in the side of Captain Hook.

Quote from the episode Into the Woods

Charles: Is the equipment secure?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Weapon loaded?
Jake: Check.
Charles: Did you have breakfast?
Jake: What? That's not on the checklist.
Charles: I added it because I care about you.
Jake: No, I did not have breakfast.
Charles: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Jake: Hey, there's little chocolate chips in this.
Charles: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.

'Captain Latvia' Quotes

Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Jeffords: I hate that we lose to those pasty-assed mole people every year.
Captain Holt: Oh, there's no point in mincing your words. They're knaves!
Gina: Captain, you kiss Kevin with that mouth?
Captain Holt: You bet I do. And tonight, I'm gonna sing with it. We're taking down the MTA.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Hey there, Nikolaj, my man. How you doing?
Nikolaj Boyle: Hi, Jake, we made Daddy Latvian Christmas cookies. Want one?
Jake: You bet I do.
Genevieve: The potato really brings out the vinegar.
Jake: Neither of those are cookie things. I'm just gonna put that back.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Trust me, it's gonna be fine.
Charles: Really? 'Cause you said that about "Die Hard 5," Jake.
Jake: Oh. It's not gonna be fine.

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