Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 8852

Quote from Jake in the episode Your Honor

Laverne Holt: Oh, Daniella, these are two prospective members, Tyrone and Tank.
Tyrone likes Bordeauxs, and Tank is beloved by mothers.
Jake: Yes.
Daniella: Great. Could I get your info for our database?
Jake: Absolutely. I live at 100 Charming Avenue. And Tyrone here is at 328 2nd Street, right next to Ya Burnt Pizza.
Daniella: Great. Enjoy your tasting.
Jake: Thanks.
Captain Holt: 100 Charming Avenue?
Jake: It's a real place. I looked it up, specifically to make you mad.

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode The Party

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

 ‘Your Honor’ Quotes

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: You're annoying my mother.
Jake: Are you blind? We're vibing like crazy.
Captain Holt: I assure you, my mother's not a vibrator.
Jake: Definitely not what that's short for.

Quote from Jake

Jake: The alarm company said the break-in happened around 7:30. Most people are home at that time. Is there anyone who knew you'd be out?
Laverne Holt: The people who were with me at wine club. Oh my, I just remembered, Carol Spitzheim's house was broken into several months ago, also during wine club.
Captain Holt: Interesting. The odds of that happening coincidentally are vanishingly small.
Laverne Holt: I would say infinitesimally.
Jake: Yes, and I would say teenily-weenily. We all know words.

Quote from Jake

Captain Holt: Enough! He robbed my mother.
Jake: No, he didn't. He's her lover. He's your mother's lover. He's lovering your mother.

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