Sergeant Jeffords: Just tell us if this is impossible. We don't have a lot of time to waste, and we've been here, like, five hours already.
Nightmare: Huh. You don't think I can do this? Is it because I'm a woman?
Sergeant Jeffords: No, no, I didn't say that.
Charles: I think women are amazing.
Nightmare: Thank you. And now I'm about to hack your world into pieces, old man. That'll show you.
Sergeant Jeffords: No. Just do the thing with the bank. That'll show me.
Nightmare: Whoa. Looks like someone was a catalog model in Japan.
Charles: Whoa! Those boots. That slicker. The no pants. Who's the target audience for these pics, Sarge?
Sergeant Jeffords: I was a starving student. Terry needed the yen!

Sergeant Jeffords: You should take my minivan.
Rosa: A minivan? Ha ha.
Sergeant Jeffords: You all got a problem with my minivan? Because my wife doesn't like it either. She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man. They roll!

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.

Charles: Hey, Sarge. I need someone to fill out a line up. Will you be scary Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking.
[cut to:
Sergeant Jeffords: This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market!

Captain Holt: You got this.
Sergeant Jeffords: You got this.
Charles: You got this.
Jake: Charles, you're-
Charles: In a wheelchair, yep. My back gave out when I was dyeing my pubes. I was only halfway done. I'm like Cruella de Vil down there.

Captain Holt: Diaz, I've been calling you. Why weren't you answering your phone?
Rosa: Don't have it. I charged it and stuck it on a truck headed west.
Captain Holt: What's with the suitcase?
Rosa: Going to Malaysia.
Captain Holt: You're going to Malaysia?
Rosa: No, the suitcase is going to Malaysia. I'm getting on a bus to Florida.
Captain Holt: What's in Florida?
Rosa: Airport. I'm flying to Argentina.
Captain Holt: This is very complicated.
Rosa: Thank you. Adrian has a ranch in the Andes where he goes when he's on the run. He's already there, getting rid of the scorpions. Or adding more scorpions. I don't know. The reception was real bad.

Jake: Guilty. Very cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool..... Cool.