Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 9034

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Crime & Punishment

Rosa: I don't know why you're here. You're not gonna change my mind.
Captain Holt: I know. I just wanted to say good-bye.
Rosa: Okay. Good-bye.
Captain Holt: I hope you know your family's gonna miss you.
Rosa: I don't care. I barely speak to them.
Captain Holt: I was talking about the Nine-Nine. Be safe, Rachel Weinstein.

 Captain Holt Quotes

Quote from the episode Ding Dong

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Quote from the episode Payback

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Quote from the episode The Box

Jake: We have a few more questions for you, doctor.
Captain Holt: Doctor. Huh. It's funny when people call dentists "doctor".
Philip Davidson: We are doctors. We do four years of medical school.
Captain Holt: Yeah, but it's called "dental school".
Philip Davidson: But we learn about the entire body.
Captain Holt: But if you had cancer, you wouldn't call a dentist.
Philip Davidson: You know it's actually harder to get into dental school than medical school.
Captain Holt: Well, because there are fewer dental schools. Because most people want to become actual doctors.
Philip Davidson: That's ridiculous. It's not like we're college professors calling ourselves "doctors".
Captain Holt: Not the same thing, my friend.
Philip Davidson: Well, sure it is. When someone has a heart attack on a plane, do they yell out, "Yo, does anybody here have an Art History PhD?"
Captain Holt: A PhD is a doctorate. It's literally describing a doctor.
Jake: Maybe let's refocus.
Captain Holt: No! The problem here is that medical practitioners have co-opted the word "doctor".
Jake: Okay, Captain-
Captain Holt: I know we live in a world where anything can mean anything, and nobody even cares about etymolo-
[cut to outside, Holt downing a glass of water]
Captain Holt: Apparently that's a trigger for me.
Jake: Yeah, apparently.

 ‘Crime & Punishment’ Quotes

Quote from Charles

Captain Holt: You got this.
Sergeant Jeffords: You got this.
Charles: You got this.
Jake: Charles, you're-
Charles: In a wheelchair, yep. My back gave out when I was dyeing my pubes. I was only halfway done. I'm like Cruella de Vil down there.

Quote from Rosa

Captain Holt: Diaz, I've been calling you. Why weren't you answering your phone?
Rosa: Don't have it. I charged it and stuck it on a truck headed west.
Captain Holt: What's with the suitcase?
Rosa: Going to Malaysia.
Captain Holt: You're going to Malaysia?
Rosa: No, the suitcase is going to Malaysia. I'm getting on a bus to Florida.
Captain Holt: What's in Florida?
Rosa: Airport. I'm flying to Argentina.
Captain Holt: This is very complicated.
Rosa: Thank you. Adrian has a ranch in the Andes where he goes when he's on the run. He's already there, getting rid of the scorpions. Or adding more scorpions. I don't know. The reception was real bad.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Guilty. Very cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool..... Cool.

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