Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 9147

Quote from Jake in the episode Hitchcock & Scully

Captain Holt: Don't interfere with IA's investigation. Just find out what actually happened in case Kelly is trying to manipulate the facts. Can you do that?
Jake: Oh, so you're asking if we can open a portal to the wet and wild 1980s to investigation the bizarre lives of these magnificent dodos? I believe it was a young Barack Obama who said "Uh, yes, we can."

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode The Party

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

 ‘Hitchcock & Scully’ Quotes

Quote from Jake

Hitchcock: Look, guys, we never had that money. Here. We'll prove it to you.
Scully: Those are our financial records.
Hitchcock: I don't have any retirement. I don't have any security, or a car. I rent most of my clothes.
Jake: We get it. You're poor.
Hitchcock: I'm not just poor, son. I'm destitute.
Jake: Definitely not a wink-able line.

Quote from Hitchcock

Jake: Wait a minute. Why do you pay for a monthly parking spot?
Charles: Because it's New York. It's hard to park.
Jake: Yeah, but he just said he doesn't have a car. So what's parked in this spot you don't want us to know about? Could it be a super-expensive sports car, paid for in cash?
[cut to a parking garage:]
Jake: Nope. It's just a sketchy old sex van.
Hitchcock: There is nothing sketchy about the Beaver Trap.
Jake: Yes, there is.

Quote from Hitchcock

Charles: All right, calm down. We're not accusing you of anything, right, Jake?
Jake: Kinda was.
Hitchcock: This is crazy! We're innocent!
Scully: IA is railroading us like Holt said, and you're joining in the witch hunt!
Hitchcock: You're fake news! Sad!
Jake: Yeah, that's definitely the language of the innocent.

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