Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 9152

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Hitchcock & Scully

Gina: And this gibberish is actually Gina jargon, a world-renowned linguistic system that worked pretty well for Ellen Musk.
Amy: Elon Musk.
Gina: Ellen Musk.
Captain Holt: Season one winner of VH1's "Queen Bitch."

 Captain Holt Quotes

Quote from the episode Ding Dong

Rosa: All you have to do is say a few nice comments during the memorial.
Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey."
Rosa: [cackles]

Quote from the episode Payback

Amy: Maybe we should talk about deets for the case. Plan our next move. Grab some chow.
Captain Holt: No need. I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have original no flavor, and whole wheat no flavor.

Quote from the episode The Box

Jake: We have a few more questions for you, doctor.
Captain Holt: Doctor. Huh. It's funny when people call dentists "doctor".
Philip Davidson: We are doctors. We do four years of medical school.
Captain Holt: Yeah, but it's called "dental school".
Philip Davidson: But we learn about the entire body.
Captain Holt: But if you had cancer, you wouldn't call a dentist.
Philip Davidson: You know it's actually harder to get into dental school than medical school.
Captain Holt: Well, because there are fewer dental schools. Because most people want to become actual doctors.
Philip Davidson: That's ridiculous. It's not like we're college professors calling ourselves "doctors".
Captain Holt: Not the same thing, my friend.
Philip Davidson: Well, sure it is. When someone has a heart attack on a plane, do they yell out, "Yo, does anybody here have an Art History PhD?"
Captain Holt: A PhD is a doctorate. It's literally describing a doctor.
Jake: Maybe let's refocus.
Captain Holt: No! The problem here is that medical practitioners have co-opted the word "doctor".
Jake: Okay, Captain-
Captain Holt: I know we live in a world where anything can mean anything, and nobody even cares about etymolo-
[cut to outside, Holt downing a glass of water]
Captain Holt: Apparently that's a trigger for me.
Jake: Yeah, apparently.

 ‘Hitchcock & Scully’ Quotes

Quote from Jake

Hitchcock: Look, guys, we never had that money. Here. We'll prove it to you.
Scully: Those are our financial records.
Hitchcock: I don't have any retirement. I don't have any security, or a car. I rent most of my clothes.
Jake: We get it. You're poor.
Hitchcock: I'm not just poor, son. I'm destitute.
Jake: Definitely not a wink-able line.

Quote from Hitchcock

Jake: Wait a minute. Why do you pay for a monthly parking spot?
Charles: Because it's New York. It's hard to park.
Jake: Yeah, but he just said he doesn't have a car. So what's parked in this spot you don't want us to know about? Could it be a super-expensive sports car, paid for in cash?
[cut to a parking garage:]
Jake: Nope. It's just a sketchy old sex van.
Hitchcock: There is nothing sketchy about the Beaver Trap.
Jake: Yes, there is.

Quote from Hitchcock

Charles: All right, calm down. We're not accusing you of anything, right, Jake?
Jake: Kinda was.
Hitchcock: This is crazy! We're innocent!
Scully: IA is railroading us like Holt said, and you're joining in the witch hunt!
Hitchcock: You're fake news! Sad!
Jake: Yeah, that's definitely the language of the innocent.

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