Theo Lorql: Good afternoon. May I help you?
Jake: We're here all the time. Get familiar with these faces, or get familiar with the unemployment line.
Theo Lorql: I'm so sorry, but I have to check you in. I need a member number.
Jake: I don't have my member number with me. It's too bad you can't just use my AmEx black card.
Theo Lorql: Oh, that's great. We can use that.
Jake: You can? Well. You think I carry around my own wallet? [Jake and Gina laugh]

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Gina: Hey, Craptain, you ready to get curb stomped?
Sergeant Jeffords: What?
Gina: At chess.
Captain Holt: We have a weekly match. I'm teaching Gina to play. And she, in turn, is teaching me to trash talk. The hospital called. Your test results came back positive. You're a stage five dumbass.
Gina: Oh! You have come so far.

Gina: But I do know the names. I've simply rebranded them. My queen is Rihanna.
My king is Beyonce. And this little guy is Kevin. Would you be willing to murder Kevin, the love of your life?
Captain Holt: Yes. Chess Kevin means nothing to me.

Sergeant Jeffords: This is crazy. I can't imagine the Nine-Nine without you.
Gina: Don't worry. I have a parting gift for all of you. I printed "Time for Gina's Opinion" hoodies for you with your names on them. Oh, there you go.
Jake: Oh, that's fun. So like "Time for Jake's Opinion"?
Gina: What are you, insane? No. It says "Time for Gina's Opinion" in large text on the back and then your names are stitched really tiny on the front.
Jake: Ah.
Gina: I had to guess at some of the spellings.
Amy: Arnie?