Jake: Oh, hey, babe.
Amy: [screams] [grunts]
Jake: Ugh! It's me, Jake! I'm just working! What is wrong with you?
Amy: What are you doing? Why do you have a knife? Why am I covered in red Post-its?
Franco McCoy: That's blood. You're the corpse.
Amy: [screams] Jake, who is that?
Franco McCoy: Franco McCoy. CSI.
Jake: He's helping me with the case.
Franco McCoy: For the record, I think it's weird that I'm here too.
Amy: Both of you, get out!
Jake: Yeah, sounds good.
Franco McCoy: Sorry to wake you. Sweet dreams.
Jake: Come on.

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

Jake: So, we gonna talk about what happened back there? I haven't seen someone cry that much since Charles heard they were remaking "First Wives Club."

Jake: Whoo! I love the first walkthrough of a crime scene. It's kind of like arriving at summer camp, except the lake is full of blood and your bunk mate is dead. I think I might be bad at metaphors.

Captain Holt: I'm here because Major Crimes wants this case. I was hoping to tell them you have some leads. I overheard you mention a Bill Bo-Baggins. Should we bring him in?
Jake: Well, as much as I would love to meet him, he is not a suspect.