Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 9483

Quote from Jake in the episode The Crime Scene

Rosa: It's my mom. I waited too long for her to come around and call me, so I called her.
Jake: That is so great. Oh, no. Is she meeting you here? Am I about to get caught in the middle of all your weird awkwardness again?
Julia Diaz: Hello, Jake.
Jake: Ah! Hello, Mrs. Diaz! America's favorite mother! [clears throat]
Julia Diaz: So?
Rosa: So.
Jake: So... Rosa's bi.
Julia Diaz: Yes, Jake, I remember.
Jake: Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool-
Rosa: You don't have to stay, man.
Jake: Great. Thanks.

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode The Party

Amy: I can't wait to see the inside of Raymond's house. I'm gonna learn everything there is to know about him.
Charles: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy.
Jake: No, it's probably just an empty, white cube with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

 ‘The Crime Scene’ Quotes

Quote from Jake

Jake: So, we gonna talk about what happened back there? I haven't seen someone cry that much since Charles heard they were remaking "First Wives Club."

Quote from Jake

Jake: Whoo! I love the first walkthrough of a crime scene. It's kind of like arriving at summer camp, except the lake is full of blood and your bunk mate is dead. I think I might be bad at metaphors.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: I'm here because Major Crimes wants this case. I was hoping to tell them you have some leads. I overheard you mention a Bill Bo-Baggins. Should we bring him in?
Jake: Well, as much as I would love to meet him, he is not a suspect.

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