Woman: Hey, you're the girl from the diarrhea commercial, aren't you? You get diarrhea on the plane.
Sheena: That's not true.
Rosa: Yeah, move along.
Sheena: I don't get diarrhea on the plane. I get diarrhea in the airport.
Captain Holt: What's going on? Are you an actor?
Sheena: Well, you don't have to sound so grossed out. I can see why you didn't want him meeting Jocelyn.
Captain Holt: Excuse me?
Rosa: This isn't Jocelyn. It's Sheena. She's an actress.
Sheena: Yeah, I was in an episode of "SVU." I say, "We want answers!" The director tried to replace me, but Mariska said it would take too much time, and then they all agreed I'd probably cut together fine.

Rosa: I want to say a few words. When Jason died seven days ago, I didn't give a rat's ass.
Charles: This is your speech?
Rosa: 'Cause I didn't understand why people care so much about their dumb dogs till I got a dumb dog myself. I've only had Arlo for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Gina: Very violent eulogy, I like it.

Rosa: Hey, you should run. Going to meetings, writing stuff down. You love that nerd stuff.
Amy: Writing stuff down is nerdy? What do you do?
Rosa: I just forget stuff like a cool person.

Sergeant Jeffords: Wait, is that a smile I see?
Rosa: Possibly. My immune system is too weak to fight off my smile muscles.

Captain Holt: [on the phone] Kevin, they're not coming. Yes, I know you've already started soaking the rice. Couldn't we just eat it ourselves? I understand you purchased four portions of rice. Yes, that's a great idea. We'll eat the extra rice for breakfast. I love you, as well.

Jake: Okay, unlike Kooky Charles and Tearful Terry, I am healthy and don't need therapy.
Hitchcock: I hear that. I don't go to therapy either. Jake and I are like two penises in a pod.
Jake: Damn it, Hitchcock, we talked about this. It never helps when you back me up.

Jake: Behold, Brooklyn buddies, Boyle bullpen bottle bowling.
Charles: Beautiful.
Jake: Be brave, bro. Be brave. Bowl!
Rosa: Bam!
Charles: Bull's-eye!
Jake: Booyah!
Elderly Eastern European Woman: Babushka!
All: Babushka!