Jake: On it. Okay, Pam, so we're just gonna stay calm here and talk this thing through as friends.
Pam: This isn't supposed to be happening. The man said that I'd be able to sneak in here unnoticed.
Jake: What man? Who asked you to do this?
Pam: I didn't get his name, but he was very attractive. Antonio Banderas could play him in a movie. What has he been doing lately? You know what? He should be on "Outlander."

Captain Holt: Hello, you've reached the office of Raymond Holt. I can come to the phone right now.

Captain Holt: This has become more about your employment status.As your supervisor, I feel I have a conflict of interest and should abstain from judging.
Jake: Okay, so do we both get a point?
Captain Holt: No. Kevin has been on the phone all this time. He's also a licensed debate moderator.
Kevin: [v.o.] License number J as in Juliet, 2-5-9-
Jake: This means nothing to me.
Kevin: [v.o.] H as in hotel. Z as in Zulu.
Jake: Oh, thank God he stopped.
Kevin: [v.o.] 3-6-9. Point to Amy.

Jake: Look, I get that you can't take any time off from work, but this is a loophole. It's still work. You know, we can hang out here and chat and catch up and laugh, and technically, we'll be doing our jobs. I call it a "casecation."
[singing] Casecation, all I ever wanted-
Amy: Ooh.
Jake: [singing] Casecation, had to get away