Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 9966

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords in the episode Ticking Clocks

Sergeant Jeffords: Quinn, did you get the alert?
Officer Gwen: Yeah, but I haven't seen anyone unusual down here. I mean, other than 1,000 Kappa Gamma Kappas.
Sergeant Jeffords: At least you didn't have to deal with Lambda Nus. Those girls are savages.
Whitney Grubner: Right? We're the victims here. We have a nighttime event, and if we don't make our blowouts, then we'll all look disgusting, and nobody will give any money to the kids, or dogs, or whatever the charity is.
Barbara Arbara: It's to buy shoes for poor people so they can get jobs.
Whitney Grubner: Yeah.
Sergeant Jeffords: We'll do our best, but it's possible you're gonna miss your event.
Whitney Grubner: That's too bad, 'cause you could use some decent shoes.
Sergeant Jeffords: What? Terry got these at Aldo.
Whitney Grubner: Was it buy one, get one?
Sergeant Jeffords: No, it wasn't. It was a three-for-one Labor Day doorbuster.
Whitney Grubner: Makes sense.

 Sergeant Jeffords Quotes

Quote from the episode The Tagger

Sergeant Jeffords: You should take my minivan.
Rosa: A minivan? Ha ha.
Sergeant Jeffords: You all got a problem with my minivan? Because my wife doesn't like it either. She wanted an SUV, but those things roll, man. They roll!

Quote from the episode Beach House

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.

Quote from the episode The Slump

Charles: Hey, Sarge. I need someone to fill out a line up. Will you be scary Terry?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, I love being Scary Terry. He says what regular Terry's thinking.
[cut to:
Sergeant Jeffords: This is taking too long! I'm gonna miss the farmer's market!

 ‘Ticking Clocks’ Quotes

Quote from Hitchcock

Hitchcock: We cooked that lasagna for nothing. Nothing!
Jake: Okay. But have you ever considered eating lasagna with no garlic bread?
Hitchcock: We've- Never done that before.
Scully: I guess maybe we could give it a try. What do you think, Hitchcock?
Hitchcock: What the hell. I had a feeling something crazy was gonna happen today.
Jake: There you go.
Scully: It's almost ready.
Jake: [microwave dings] Mama Magglione.

Quote from Rosa

Jake: How is she running so fast in those shoes?
Rosa: She's too drunk to feel any pain.
Jake: Open up.
Jenna Pazhley: No.
Rosa: You are trapped in a very small room, and we can see you. What's your plan here?
Jenna Pazhley: Shut up, I'm trying to think. If you come in here, I'll bite you with this weird mouth thing.
Rosa: That is a staple remover, and it's shocking you don't know that.
Jenna Pazhley: Sorry, I'm not a secretary.

Quote from Captain Holt

Sergeant Knox: What's going on? We're running out of time here.
Captain Holt: Uh, sorry, it's uh from my husband, Kevin.
Sergeant Knox: Well, all due respect, but you don't have time for that. You've got 15 seconds before the hacker is inside the server.
Captain Holt: Uh, yes, uh it's just that Kevin just texted me some hot goss about our favorite reality TV star.
Sergeant Knox: 10 seconds. Your agents' lives are at stake. Eight, seven-
Captain Holt: Oh, I understand. I just have to find out about the hot goss.

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