Jake: Oh, Canada. Truly the Odie to America's Garfield.

Jake: Checking out my new bed. Great - feels like scoliosis and smells like 10 million butts.

Captain Holt: Hmm, a poor winner. I never would have guessed.
Jake: Yeah, you would have.

Charles: What are you doing? Holt said you didn't have to come in. You don't even come in on days you have to work.

Amy: Woah, why are you here before me? Am I asleep? Is this a dream?

Rosa: I look like Aresenio.
Charles: So it's perfect?

Sergeant Jeffords: I ate one stringbean. It tasted like fish vomit. That was it for me.

Jake: Come on, Rosa. We can play-act with his mom for two minutes to get a lead.
Rosa: Fine. One false move, and I tase you in front of your mom.

Amy: I have to admit, I do love a thorough vacuumer. I'm a little OCD.

Captain Holt: Hello, Peralta.
Jake: Ah, a human greeting. Nicely done.

Charles: I love it when you talk broth.

Captain Holt: The meeting is beginning. The stakes are very high for me. I'm getting nervous. My stomach is in flux.

Jake: I meant the money thing.
Gina: Oh. My first impression is that you have a debilitating spending problem.
Jake: Mmm-hmm.
Gina: You have six massage chairs.
Jake: Well, they don't make a massage couch.

Charles: Wedding's off and this is what I'm like now. Life is a pit.
Gina: Excuse me. I don't understand. Did you already have a Matrix get-up at home for some reason?
Charles: No, Gina. I bought this with the money I was going to spend on our honeymoon to Cape Canaveral.

Gina: I know we're all concerned about Boyle, but again, there is a solution. Forget your ex with meaningless sex. It rhymes because it's true.