Gina: Now before I tell you my idea, are you allergic to dolphins?

Jake: Let's go free an innocent woman.
Charles: Nice. My dreams are coming true. You and me getting my lady off together.
Jake: I mean, you know how that sounds, right?

Amy: He said he'll point him out to us. So you approach on foot from the south, and me and Devon will be in an unmarked car here.
Jake: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. "Me and Devon"? Didn't you mean "Devon and I"?
Amy: Oh, God.
Jake: I corrected your grammar! Are you so proud of me? Are you horrified? Are you super horny?

Frederick: No, everything's fine, but I am a little concerned about Sharon's blood pressure. And this is a terrible environment.
Jake: I wouldn't call it terrible.
Frederick: We're surrounded by criminals, there's no bed, and you can hear the faint sound of someone screaming through all the vents.
Gina: That's Hitchcock. His arm's stuck in a pneumatic tube. It's hilarious.

Captain Holt: Gina, as you predicted, there was some backlash to the poster campaign.
Gina: Yes. I'm the Nostradamus of your shame.

Adrian Pimento: After what I've seen, after what I've done, I don't know that I deserve to be happy.
Sergeant Jeffords: Of course you do.
Adrian Pimento: Huh. I never looked at it that way. Wow. That changes everything.
Sergeant Jeffords: I never even finished my point.
Adrian Pimento: No, Sarge, you said it all. You just changed my life.

Amy: Listen, guys. Jake and I were talking last night-
Charles: Pillow talk alert. Set the scene, spooning or face to face?
Jake: Charles.
Charles: Spooning.

Sergeant Jeffords: Move over, Peralta! Move over! Okay. And if I may do a third toast, it'll be focused primarily on the mango yogurt.
*Audience groans*
Don't boo me! I lost something important too, shoot!

Amy: This one says Die Pig. And worst of all, they didn't put the comma between die and pig.

Sergeant Jeffords: And Hitchcock and Scully, I assume you're here for some unrelated injury.
Hitchcock: That's correct.

Jake: Wait, getting a text. It's Captain Holt.
Rosa: Where is he? What'd he say?
Jake: "Inib rue tiid." Wait, I'm getting another one. "Ink obrvs whiz." These are nonsense.
Scully: He's been gagged.
Jake: How would that come through in a text, Scully?

Gina: This man is a Timberlake and you need to stop treating him like a Fatone.

Attorney: How do we know those were drugs? Please back that tape up.
Charles: No! Objection!
Judge: On what grounds?
Charles: That's my penis?
Judge: Overruled.

Jake: That was 18 days ago. He's getting saner by the minute. In a month, he'll basically just be Frasier.
Sergeant Jeffords: Don't use Frasier's name in vain.
Jake: Copy that.

Amy: Rule number 3: Let's not have sex right away.
Jake: Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. No doubt, no doubt, no doubt. Good rule. No sex. Good rule.