Season 4 Quotes Page 2 of 89

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Quote from Hitchcock in the episode The Bank Job

Charles: Sarge, you think Gina will be okay?
Sergeant Jeffords: She says the doctor's can't be sure, but they're optimistic. Apparently, she has something called Ansel-Elgort Syndrome.
Charles: Oh, poor Gina.
Amy: Oh, my God.
Hitchcock: Oh, you fools. That's not a disease. Ansel Elgort's an actor. Did none of you see "The Fault in Our Stars"?
Sergeant Jeffords: No. Why did you?
Hitchcock: Teenage romance, dying chick, oxygen mask. Checks all my boxes.

Quote from Adrian Pimento in the episode The Bank Job

Adrian Pimento: Okay, here are the ground rules: You can punch me, kick me, pull my hair, I am a-ok being stabbed, biting and scratching are on the table, you can use fire.
Jake: These are the ground rules? Is there anything off limits?
Adrian Pimento: Damn, man. You got something really sick you wanna do, huh? Oh, you little pervert. All right, I like it. Don't tell me. Surprise me. Ooh, this is gonna be fun.

Quote from Doug Judy in the episode The Fugitive (Part 2)

Captain Holt: No, no, no. He's not a cop. He can't be wearing any of this.
Jake: It's just a windbreaker. It's not like I gave him a badge and a gun. ... Uh, he has both of those things.
Doug Judy: It's not loaded. I just want to cock it and say a cool cop catch phrase. (COCKS GUN) New York's finest just got a whole lot finer.

Quote from Jake in the episode Mr. Santiago

Jake: I know everything about him, therefore I know exactly the type of person I need to be in order for him to think I'm good enough for Amy.
Charles: No, Jake, you're fine. Just flash him your baby browns, he'll love it. Just be yourself.
Jake: Be myself? Charles, I have one day to win over Amy's dad. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Rosa: Couple weeks.
Sergeant Jeffords: Six months.
Captain Holt: Jury's still out.
Jake: See, Charles? "Be myself," what kind of garbage advice is that? I hope you're not telling Nikolaj that crap.
Charles: [correcting] Nikolaj.
Jake: Ugh.

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Captain Latvia

Sergeant Jeffords: I hate that we lose to those pasty-assed mole people every year.
Captain Holt: Oh, there's no point in mincing your words. They're knaves!
Gina: Captain, you kiss Kevin with that mouth?
Captain Holt: You bet I do. And tonight, I'm gonna sing with it. We're taking down the MTA.

Quote from Charles in the episode Cop-Con

Charles: See you in hell, partner. [Charles pushes the K-13 robot off the balconey]
[present:]
Jake: You killed her?
Charles: Her? Oh, my God, it was a her. You were replacing Amy, not me. What have I done?

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Mr. Santiago

TV Announcer: The Cairn Terrier is intelligent and inquisitive with a bold personality.
Captain Holt: [chuckles] "A bold personality." We know what that's code for: she's a bitch.

Quote from Adrian Pimento in the episode Monster in the Closet

Charles: And now Nikolaj says he's too frightened to ever sleep again, so that's just superduper.
Adrian Pimento: I don't understand what he's so scared about. If I was there to kill him, he never would've heard me.
Charles: A thing you told him several times.

Quote from Doug Judy in the episode The Fugitive (Part 2)

Doug Judy: Damn, it feels good to be on the same team for once. A cop and a criminal working together. (GASPS) We need a theme song. The Pontiac Bandit and Jake the cop-
Jake: Oh!
Doug Judy: Taking down crooks, In the streets where they live, Flirting with girls who are hot for the badge-
Jake: There's a talking police dog that helps them solve crime.

Quote from Jake in the episode Chasing Amy

Jake: Hey.
Amy: How'd you find me?
Jake: January 14th, 2014. Detectives Peralta and Santiago conducted surveillance from a rooftop at 397 Barton Street. This is where we came the night I won our bet and you fell in love with me.
Amy: Jake.
Jake: The night that you flirted with me for 20 seconds and I became obsessed with you forever.

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Skyfire Cycle

Captain Holt: The Full Bullpen!

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Moo Moo

Sergeant Jeffords: Sir, I can't get why you don't want me to file the complaint. I thought you of all people would support me.
Captain Holt: First of all, let me say, what that officer did to you was wrong, deeply wrong, and I'm furious about it.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay. So why don't you back me up?
Captain Holt: Because that complaint could backfire. Cops who blow the whistle on other cops almost always face a backlash, just like people who socialize with Margo invariably hear about her trip to Scottsdale.
Sergeant Jeffords: You're real worked up about Margo.
Captain Holt: Sorry. She's horrible.

Quote from Hitchcock in the episode Chasing Amy

Jake: Amy's not in the break room.
Rosa: Or the evidence room.
Hitchcock: Or the ladies' bathroom. You know what? I'll check again.
Rosa: I've never seen him walk with such purpose. What a wretched man.

Quote from Charles in the episode The Fugitive (Part 2)

Charles: It's okay. This isn't the first time I've been left out. At camp, nobody would be friends with me. I had to hang out with the lunch ladies. After summer ended, they never replied to any of my letters.

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Skyfire Cycle

Rosa: Come on, sir, the math thing isn't the problem. Night shift's keeping you and Kevin apart. You two just need to bone.
Amy: [chuckles nervously]
Captain Holt: What did you say?
Amy: Don't say it again.
Rosa: I said you two need to bone.
Amy: [whimpers]
Captain Holt: How dare you, Detective Diaz. I am your superior officer! [shouting, five minutes later] Bone! [sternly, ten minutes later] What happens in my bedroom, Detective, is none of your business. [shouting, twenty-one minutes later] Bone?! [calmly, forty minutes later] Don't ever speak to me like that again.

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