Sergeant Jeffords: There's no need to stress out. The lawyer's very confident.
Charles: Not good enough. I need to do everything I can to save Jake.
Sergeant Jeffords: Charles, you're falling apart. And that's not helping anyone. You need to get your crap in order.
Charles: Okay, you're right. I'll take a nap. I'll eat. I'll dye my pubes.
Sergeant Jeffords: You can dye all your hair.
Charles: No. There's no time.

Amy: Let's go back to New York. You can choose the music.
Jake: Just put on anything by Enya. No, not anything. "Orinoco Flow." On repeat.

Matthew Langdon: I caught her taking payoffs from a gang leader. When I confronted her about it, she said I could disappear or she'd kill me.
Jake: I see why you chose pig farming. It's better than death.
Matthew Langdon: Not during the spring thaw.
Jake: Why? Does it smell even worse somehow?
Matthew Langdon: I was talking about the noises. It's pig mating season.
Jake: What does that sound like, a bunch of wet bagpipes?
Matthew Langdon: That's exactly it.
Jake: Oh.
Amy: Nailed it.

Jake: I like your stupid courtroom clothes.
Rosa: Thanks. I like your stupid courtroom clothes.
Jake: Thank you.

Rosa: I don't know why you're here. You're not gonna change my mind.
Captain Holt: I know. I just wanted to say good-bye.
Rosa: Okay. Good-bye.
Captain Holt: I hope you know your family's gonna miss you.
Rosa: I don't care. I barely speak to them.
Captain Holt: I was talking about the Nine-Nine. Be safe, Rachel Weinstein.

Jake: See? When the Nine-Nine puts our brains together, we can achieve anything.
Hey, we should team up and rob banks for real!
Judge Marinovich: You should stop talking in the hallway.
Jake: Yep, copy that. Nice to see you.

Samuel Miller: Where are Jack and Rosa?
Gina: I don't know. I'm getting worried, because the jury's getting restless, especially juror number 4. She'd rather be in Lake Havasu with her new boyfriend, Derek. I didn't get that from her face. I was eavesdropping by the vending machine.

Amy: So we need to break in to the bank's computers. We need a hacker. Does anyone know a hacker?
Sergeant Jeffords: Boyle does.
Charles: I'm Boyle! I get to help! Oh, my God. I can feel my legs again. I can walk.
Jake: Yes! It's a miracle kind of.

Matthew Langdon: Wait. I'm coming with you.
Jake: You are? You'll testify?
Matthew Langdon: Hawkins has cost me and my wife too many years of happiness. I'm not gonna let her do the same to you.
Amy: Thank you so much.
Matthew Langdon: Well, I'm gonna grab my stuff, and I'll get a few CDs. Hope you like Enya.
Jake: [gasps] Matthew Langdon, you and I are vibing so hard!

Jake: Doesn't matter anyway. We don't need your testimony, because we have the meat fork.
Sergeant Jeffords: What?
Jake: Our two-pronged defense. Not unlike a fork you would use to flip a steak on a grill. It's a meat fork! Sam, explain the meat fork to them.
Samuel Miller: Again, "meat fork" is fun, but under no circumstances should anyone say that in court.
Jake: We have it if we need it.

Sergeant Jeffords: Here are the account numbers for the bank where the money showed up. Now, we're in a real hurry. You think you can trace it back to its source?
Pandemic: Are you questioning my abilities? Watch this. What's your name?
Sergeant Jeffords: Why do you need-
Charles: Terrence Vincent Jeffords.
Sergeant Jeffords: Wait. What's happening?
Pandemic: You're getting hacked, bro. That's what's happening.
Sergeant Jeffords: Don't do that.
Pandemic: I'm in your home computer.
Sergeant Jeffords: You are? Get out.
Pandemic: You got a lot of songs by Natalie Imbruglia.
Sergeant Jeffords: Uh, I bought those back in the '90s.
Pandemic: Nope. Downloaded on Thursday.

Jake: Oof. It's pungent out here. It's so weird how food smells so good but farms smell so bad.

Samuel Miller: Okay, so that's where we stand. Are there any questions or comments?
Captain Holt: Yes, there's something I'd like to say. Don't lose.
Sergeant Jeffords: Thought that was gonna be longer.
Jake: I loved it.
Rosa: It was perfect.

Samuel Miller: Objection. Conjecture!
Jake: Sustained. Sorry, you say it.
Judge Marinovich: Sustained.
Jake: We both sounded equally authoritative.

Charles: Did you guys find anything yet?
Pandemic: Yes. Terry made a sizable purchase at an Etsy store that sells anklets for men.
Sergeant Jeffords: Sharon thinks they're sexy. Oh, come on! Focus on the case, man.