Amy: Babe, are you sure we're in the right place? This looks like where they shot "The Village."
Jake: Amy, don't say things like that. You're gonna scare me. You know that.

Matthew Langdon: I'll talk to you, but you gotta follow me; I gotta go feed the hogs.
Jake: Oh, my God, what are you gonna feed them? Is it us?
Matthew Langdon: Corn.
Jake: Hmm, corn. Maize, as there was at the first Thanksgiving.
Amy: Jake.
Jake: Right. Let's go talk.

Pandemic: Okay, now watch the Pandemic spread. There's a document in here that looks to be fan fiction for the show "Madam Secretary."
Charles: Oh, Sarge, I didn't know you were a fan of the Madam.
Sergeant Jeffords: The show leaves Terry wanting more. I'm just filling in the gaps.

Jake: Now get to hacking. Guys, I think I found something.
Scully: Is it my heart medicine? My doctor said that if I miss even one dose, I could have a massive stro-
Jake: No, Scully, this is important.

Captain Holt: Diaz, I've been calling you. Why weren't you answering your phone?
Rosa: Don't have it. I charged it and stuck it on a truck headed west.
Captain Holt: What's with the suitcase?
Rosa: Going to Malaysia.
Captain Holt: You're going to Malaysia?
Rosa: No, the suitcase is going to Malaysia. I'm getting on a bus to Florida.
Captain Holt: What's in Florida?
Rosa: Airport. I'm flying to Argentina.
Captain Holt: This is very complicated.
Rosa: Thank you. Adrian has a ranch in the Andes where he goes when he's on the run. He's already there, getting rid of the scorpions. Or adding more scorpions. I don't know. The reception was real bad.

Sergeant Jeffords: Here are the account numbers for the bank where the money showed up. Now, we're in a real hurry. You think you can trace it back to its source?
Pandemic: Are you questioning my abilities? Watch this. What's your name?
Sergeant Jeffords: Why do you need-
Charles: Terrence Vincent Jeffords.
Sergeant Jeffords: Wait. What's happening?
Pandemic: You're getting hacked, bro. That's what's happening.
Sergeant Jeffords: Don't do that.
Pandemic: I'm in your home computer.
Sergeant Jeffords: You are? Get out.
Pandemic: You got a lot of songs by Natalie Imbruglia.
Sergeant Jeffords: Uh, I bought those back in the '90s.
Pandemic: Nope. Downloaded on Thursday.

Sergeant Jeffords: Just tell us if this is impossible. We don't have a lot of time to waste, and we've been here, like, five hours already.
Nightmare: Huh. You don't think I can do this? Is it because I'm a woman?
Sergeant Jeffords: No, no, I didn't say that.
Charles: I think women are amazing.
Nightmare: Thank you. And now I'm about to hack your world into pieces, old man. That'll show you.
Sergeant Jeffords: No. Just do the thing with the bank. That'll show me.
Nightmare: Whoa. Looks like someone was a catalog model in Japan.
Charles: Whoa! Those boots. That slicker. The no pants. Who's the target audience for these pics, Sarge?
Sergeant Jeffords: I was a starving student. Terry needed the yen!

Captain Holt: Look. I know you're innocent, but fleeing the country is a crime. I could arrest you right here.
Rosa: Do it then. I didn't think so. The mortgage is paid off. You can give the place to whoever you want. I don't care. Actually, I do care. Don't give it to Hitchcock.

Captain Holt: Diaz, I know you're scared, but things are starting to turn around. We're on the money trail, and we just found a new lead.
Rosa: With all due respect, sir, both you and I know that none of that is gonna pan out. And you said yourself I should take action. So I am, in Argentina, surrounded by scorpions. Or not surrounded by scorpions. I'll find out when I get there.

Captain Holt: Has anyone seen Diaz? She's supposed be looking into the first two bank robberies.
Hitchcock: I saw her outside the courthouse. She gave me her jacket and her motorcycle helmet.
Captain Holt: Why would she give you her favorite jacket?
Hitchcock: Because I'm a rebel, and we're in love. Doi.

Rosa: What are they gonna find in one day? Face it, man, we are going to jail.
We might as well start hiding razor blades under our tongues. Here. You can have one of mine.
Jake: How long has that been in there?
Rosa: Since grade school.
Jake: Yeah, that checks out.

Jake: Okay, I know it looks bad. But it also looked bad for Liam Neeson in "The Grey."
Sergeant Jeffords: He got torn up by wolves in that movie.
Jake: That's how it ends? Oh, man. That is depressing. Why would someone make a movie about that?

Jake: See? When the Nine-Nine puts our brains together, we can achieve anything.
Hey, we should team up and rob banks for real!
Judge Marinovich: You should stop talking in the hallway.
Jake: Yep, copy that. Nice to see you.

Gina: Okay, here's how the jury's feeling from left to right, L to R. Not a fan of Jake, not of a fan of Rosa, not a fan of me, bathroom incident.
Jake: We get it. They all hate us.
Gina: In toto, yes.

Amy: So we need to break in to the bank's computers. We need a hacker. Does anyone know a hacker?
Sergeant Jeffords: Boyle does.
Charles: I'm Boyle! I get to help! Oh, my God. I can feel my legs again. I can walk.
Jake: Yes! It's a miracle kind of.