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Quote from Charles in the episode Jake & Amy

Charles: So here it is. I really hope you like it. But if you don't, I will kill myself.

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Jake & Amy

Captain Holt: Where is he? Cheddar? Cheddar! Cheddar the dog!
Gina: Oh, he ate the cake.
Captain Holt: Oh, Cheddar, you furry little pig.

Quote from Jake in the episode Jake & Amy

Amy: How are you so calm right now? Someone is trying to blow us up.
Jake: I'm calm because there's not really a bomb. I mean, if you're trying to kill someone, you don't call and give them a heads-up.
Amy: So they're just trying to scare us?
Jake: Yeah, but it doesn't matter. The bomb squad's on their way. They'll do a quick sweep, find nothing and split, and this will just become a funny story we work into our vows. "Amy, there was a bomb at this wedding. Ya butt. Ya butt is da bomb."
Amy: Please don't say that during the ceremony.
Jake: Is it that you don't like wordplay or you don't want me to talk about your butt at all? Because one of those notes is really gonna pull a thread.

Quote from Jake in the episode Jake & Amy

Amy: Who would do something like this?
Jake: Well, I clearly have an arch-nemesis. Finally. Must be someone I put away who's hell-bent on revenge. He's probably gonna make me choose between saving the city and saving the woman I love. Little does he know, I can save both.

Quote from Gina in the episode Jake & Amy

Captain Holt: Oh, my.
Gina: What?
Captain Holt: I just got an email from the mayor's office telling me if I'm the next commissioner of the NYPD.
Gina: Well, well, well, finally something to care about today.

Quote from Teddy in the episode Jake & Amy

Teddy: Okay, Amy. I got through every room and I cleared them very fast, because I love you and I want you to be happy, even if it's with somebody else. Did that new tactic work?
Amy: No.
Jake: You just called it a tactic.

Quote from Jake in the episode Jake & Amy

Amy: Jake.
Jake: Ames, you look beautiful. But when are you getting your makeup put on? Y'all, she woke up like this.

Quote from Jake in the episode Jake & Amy

Jake: So it seems like he died because of me. Just gonna lock that up in a little box in my brain and never open it.

Quote from Jake in the episode Jake & Amy

Charles: Okay, Gillespie's apartment's right over here.
Jake: Oh, this is exciting. We're gonna catch my arch-nemesis. Do you think he has a shrine of photos of me with the eyes scratched out?
Charles: Let's not rule out the very real possibility that it's entirely sexual.
Jake: Oh, man, that would be super upsetting and so cool.
Charles: I know.

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode Jake & Amy

Captain Holt: Congratulations once again to Jake and Amy. And now that everyone's here, I have an email that I need to open.
Jake: All right, weirdo, not something we usually announce to the squad.
Gina: It says if he got the commissioner job.
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, my God! What?
Gina: He was too scared to read it all day.
Captain Holt: I was, until I heard something very wise tonight. Life is unpredictable. Not everything is in our control. But as long as we're with the right people, we can handle anything. So I'd like to receive this news with all of you.
Amy: He quoted me.
Captain Holt: Okay, here we go. Well, from the look on my face, I'm sure you can guess what it says.
Jake: No! We have no idea at all. Just tell us, you monster!

Quote from Jake in the episode Jake & Amy

Captain Holt: Ring bearer, please, bring the rings.
Jake: But I thought Cheddar was sick- Oh, my God. You got the robot. There's a robot at my wedding.

Quote from Charles in the episode Jake & Amy

Jake: Charles, it looks amazing.
Amy: It's beautiful. How can I ever repay you?
Charles: Get pregnant. Use your body to give the world more Jake.
Jake: Holy crap. All right. I'm gonna take Charles away from you now. I will see you up there.

Quote from Jake in the episode Jake & Amy

Amy: Were you able to trace the number that called in the threat?
Jake: Yes. It was a burner, but they caught it pinging off a cell tower in Fort Greene one block away from the last known address of Frank Gillespie.
Amy: Who?
Jake: I arrested him for armed robbery in 2008, and he got out of Rikers a year ago. He's got be my arch-nemesis. He's definitely obsessed with me.
Amy: Just 'cause you arrested him?
Jake: Well, we didn't have enough evidence against him at first, so let's just say I had to get a little creative.
Amy: You framed him?
Jake: What? No. Ames. I went undercover and became best friends with him. And then he told me about his lymphoma, and we ran a 10K together, and then I arrested him. He felt so betrayed. The trial was very emotional.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords in the episode Jake & Amy

Sergeant Jeffords: But you never know when you're gonna find your dream person.
Anyone on the street could be they.
Rosa: All right, it feels like you Googled "how to talk to your bisexual friends."
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah.

Quote from Charles in the episode Jake & Amy

Amy: Man, it's gonna melt in the sun.
Charles: Don't worry, Amy, I'm gonna keep it chilled with my cool breath.
Jake: Oh, my God, the cake looks amazing! Charles, why are you spitting on it?
Charles: Because I didn't ruin your wedding.
Jake: 'kay.

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