Season 5 Quotes Page 67 of 81

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Quote from Hitchcock in the episode The Puzzle Master

Sergeant Jeffords: Fine. We'll do a drawing for it. But until then, no one touches it.
Hitchcock: Oops, too late. I left a ranch handprint on the windshield.

Quote from Jake in the episode The Puzzle Master

Vin Stermley: I really think this anagram approach makes a lot of sense.
Amy: Seriously? Let's do it. I'll take even clues, you take odds.
Vin Stermley: Great.
Jake: And I will take everyone's coffee order. That's equally helpful.
Vin Stermley: I don't drink coffee. But I'd love a kombucha.
Jake: Great, I'll just walk to the kombucha store.

Quote from Jake in the episode The Puzzle Master

Charles: Everything okay?
Jake: Yeah, of course. [seeing Vin take his coat off] You can't wear a coat over a tank, you're not Ryan Gosling.

Quote from Jake in the episode The Puzzle Master

Jake: So, how's it going in here? Vin, I see you're still coatless.
Vin Stermley: I run hot, like a wolf.
Jake: Oh, I see.

Quote from Jake in the episode The Puzzle Master

Amy: I wonder if the word "conjugate" in the arsonist's letter means we should focus on the verb answers.
Vin Stermley: Cool, I love verbs. Second favorite part of speech.
Both: After prepositions.
Jake: [laughs] Yeah, words are cool.

Quote from Jake in the episode The Puzzle Master

Jake: Wow, a whole crowd full of puzzlers. Gotta be honest, I'm a little disappointed no one's wearing a green suit covered in question marks.
Amy: That guy has crossword puzzle pants. Does that scratch your itch?
Jake: Very much so, thanks.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords in the episode The Puzzle Master

Sergeant Jeffords: Okay, one of us is about to get access to the best detective car ever, and everyone else will go back to driving junk cars for the rest of your junk lives.
Rosa: Damn, Sarge, that took a dark turn.
Sergeant Jeffords: I want seat warmers. I want them bad.

Quote from Captain Holt in the episode The Puzzle Master

Captain Holt: Then watch me chew, Gina. I'm a creature of the past. I'm a dinosaur.

Quote from Gina in the episode The Puzzle Master

Gina: No, you are not, you're the best man for the job. And I think you know what you have to do to get it.
Captain Holt: Believe in myself and give a great presentation?
Gina: Not even close. That's the head of the committee over there, gorging on crab cakes. Just go up to him and sabotage Olivia.
Captain Holt: Um, I don't think I can do that.
Gina: Well, you can't really be the best commissioner the NYPD has ever had if you're not the commissioner.

Quote from Hitchcock in the episode The Puzzle Master

Scully: Speak for yourself, sister. We found a smoking gun. Play it, Hitchcock.
Hitchcock: Voila.
Scully: Bah-boom.
Rosa: What, I don't see anything.
Hitchcock: Focus on the butt. The butt don't lie.
Scully: He squeezed his cheeks before he opened the slip. He knew his name was on it.
Hitchcock: It was a pre-emptive celebration clench.

Quote from Jake in the episode The Puzzle Master

Jake: What's Sammy up to?
Charles: Well, he just sat down on the plaza.
Jake: Okay, he's opening up his backpack and pulling out what appears to be a thermos. Possibly containing some sort of accelerant-like gasoline.
Charles: Yup.
Jake: No, he's eating it with a spoon. It's soup, he's eating soup.
Charles: Well, maybe he's fueling up for a night of starting fires.
Jake: He just pulled out a lighter! Nope, it's not a lighter. It's a bumblebee PEZ dispenser.

Quote from Jake in the episode The Puzzle Master

Amy: But we agreed to do Vin's plan.
Jake: So what? Vin is not a cop. Why do you keep siding with him instead of me? Oh, let me guess, because he was right, and the building was on fire, and he's perfect?

Quote from Jake in the episode The Puzzle Master

Jake: Marry me. Marry. Oh, my God, look. The arsonist spelled MAR, but they were going to spell M-A-R-R-Y! Or-
Amy: Conjugate. Conjugate means marry!
Jake: Yes, and who wants to marry Vin?
Both: The lady from the bar!

Quote from Gina in the episode The Puzzle Master

Captain Olivia Crawford: Hello, Captain Holt.
Captain Holt: Ah, Captain Crawford. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Gina: Captain Crawford is here to see you.
Captain Holt: Thank you, Gina.

Quote from Gina in the episode The Puzzle Master

Captain Olivia Crawford: I just wanted to thank you, for your brave speech. The mayor's office has replaced the selection committee with a less biased one, so.
Feel free to start calling me commissioner now.
Captain Holt: The only time I plan on calling you is to hear you concede.
Captain Olivia Crawford: It's going to be hard to hear anything once I've crushed you into a fine powder.
Captain Holt: A fine powder that will choke you until you die. May the better candidate win.
Captain Olivia Crawford: She will. [she walks out]
Gina: Captain Crawford left.

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