Captain Holt: I should have known you were lying. There's nothing better than a plain scone.

Captain Holt: Look how the pie was disposed of. Placed gently with two hands inside the bin. That's exactly how you always throw away garbage.
Sergeant Jeffords: It is?

Jake: And apparently my family's a lot bigger than I thought. How many half sisters did you say I have, Dad?
Roger Peralta: I only told you about the sisters?
Jake: Come on.

Julia Diaz: Don't worry. We know what's happening.
Rosa: You do?
Julia Diaz: Of course. You and Jake are dating.
Oscar Diaz: That's why you were nervous. 'Cause you know I never liked him.
Jake: What? Okay, first of all, that's insane. We've only met once and we totally hit it off. We talked about soccer, I called it futbol. Oh, I see what happened.

Amy: How's little Enigma doing?
Gina: We call her Iggy now, but you're gonna wanna keep it down because she's trying to take a nap, okay, Amy?
Amy: Oh, sure, I just feel like I was matching the same volume that you were speaking at.
Gina: Amy, keep it down.

Jake: I'm also gonna go. Are you guys on Venmo? You know what? We'll figure it out later. This isn't the right time.

Captain Holt: It's loading! We got Internet!
Gina: All right, I guess my work here is done, guys.
Sergeant Jeffords: How can we ever thank you?
Gina: I'll tell you how. Use this precious Internet. Use it every day. Keep multiple tabs open, stream videos in HD, leave comments on everything you can find. Most importantly, make your avatars GIFs.

Sergeant Jeffords: I was thinking more like a pizza party when you come back in two weeks.
Gina: Oh, yeah. So here's the thing: I'm not coming back.
Captain Holt: What?
Charles: Seriously?
Gina: Yeah, listen, I have a daughter now and when she grows up I wanna be doing something that makes her proud. So I'm starting my own company.
Amy: Ooh! What is it?
Gina: I'm running a sports league for other people's pets.
Captain Holt: Ohh.
Charles: Well, Gina, as your colleague, best friend, brother and ex-lover-
Gina: Ugh.
Charles: I fully support your dreams, but do you really wanna leave?
Gina: My mind is made up. And so this is Gina Linetti's last grand exit from the Nine-Nine.

Charles: So, since you're not coming back, we wanted to bring you all your stuff.
It's a lot of gum and what seem to be blackmail files you've been keeping on all of us?
Gina: I'm not a blackmailer. If you tell anyone I am, I will release your secrets.

Jake: Hey, got you coffee.
Rosa: I don't drink coffee. Just herbal tea.
Jake: Oh, that's cool. It only cost me, like, 18 bucks. Brooklyn is a nightmare.

Charles: Admit it. Amy and I changed your mind.
Gina: All right, it was you guys. I actually even cried a little bit after you left my apartment.
Charles: Aw.
Amy: Oh! I made Gina Linetti cry?
Gina: Hey, calm down. I had a baby ten weeks ago. I cried to a carpet cleaner commercial yesterday.

Jake: Hey, do you seriously only have two wine glasses?
Rosa: Yeah. I live alone.
Jake: Well, you're gonna need to get some more, 'cause there's a lot of us here.
Rosa: Thank you for doing this, man.
Jake: Of course. We'll be here every week.

Scully: Rosa, I broke both your wine glasses and your fridge door and your bathroom.
Jake: Every single week!

Philip Davidson: You don't think the fact that he skipped the opera has anything to do with him not believing in you?
Jake: [scoffs] He believes in me.
Philip Davidson: Okay. Why did he make you dumb cop?
Jake: He didn't make me dumb cop, not that it's any of your business. We agreed on it as a strategy.
Philip Davidson: Right, but why wasn't he dumb cop?
Captain Holt: Please. You never would have bought that.
Jake: What?
Captain Holt: It's just that, um, between the two of us, you are more believable as a-
Jake: Dumb cop?
Captain Holt: Yes, dumb. Uh, the-the dumber of two smart options.
Philip Davidson: Wow. Rough.

Rosa: That's weird. My dad's here. Hey, do you mind staying out here with me to talk to him?
Jake: Um, yes, of course. Whatever you need.
Rosa: [LAUGHS] Your face. No, man, you've done enough. Get out of here.
Jake: Oh, thank God. Good luck.