Caleb: This is such a surprise. I haven't seen you since I transferred here. How's Amy?
Jake: She's great. We're married and she's a Sergeant now.
Caleb: Wow.
Jake: Yeah. How's everything here?
Caleb: You know, same old same old. Guess who's here? Herman.
Jake: Herman! Always playing Yahtzee, knew everybody's name.
Caleb: Worshipped Satan.
Jake: Did he? He never mentioned that. [laughter] He wouldn't shut up about it.
Caleb: It is exhausting.

Jake: So Caleb, we're tracking a serial killer and I was thinking you could help us get inside his head.
Caleb: Just because I ate humans doesn't mean that I'm inhuman, Jake.
Jake: Caleb, come on. That's not what I meant.
Caleb: I'm just kidding. I'm probably friends with the guy online. [chuckles] What's his deal?
Jake: Well, he's been murdering young men and cutting out their hearts.
Caleb: Ew. What? I would never eat a heart. I stick to the normal stuff. Butts and thighs. One time I ate a foot, but it was nasty.
Jake: Yeah, I can see that.

Rosa: Hey Terry, you okay? You skipped all your lunches.
Sergeant Jeffords: I'm going through the budget to see if there's any way we could save enough money for me to stay here.
Amy: You find anything yet?
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah, we could switch to generic printer ink, cut down on custodial services, and stop buying office birthday cakes.
Scully: Over my dead body!
Sergeant Jeffords: It's just an idea.
Scully: Well, take it off the table!
Sergeant Jeffords: Damn, Scully, fine.

Sergeant Jeffords: Who am I kidding? We'll never save enough to keep me at the Nine-Nine.
Amy: You're right. The only way to free up that money is if you fire someone.
Sergeant Jeffords: What? I can't just fire someone without cause.
Amy: Come on. We all know there's a bunch of dead weight around here. Sloppy paperwork, penmanship fails, phone etiquette that makes me want to barf. Let's axe a dud.
Rosa: Damn, Amy. I am loving this shade on you.

Captain Holt: Detectives, Commissioner Kelly is back and he found his way here on his own without any tips from the public. How impressive is that?

Captain Holt: Well, I'll be. That's some nice police work, Peralta.
Jake: And Charles.
Captain Holt: I especially like how you found evidence, followed up on it, and it's lead you closer to a solve.
John Kelly: No, I agree, Peralta. It's excellent work.
Captain Holt: You must've hated saying that.
John Kelly: No, I didn't. I like giving compliments. You have a nice deep voice. It is very commanding.
Captain Holt: Cut the crap, John. You're furious. And everyone can tell.
John Kelly: See? Very commanding.

John Kelly: So, I know Raymond has some issues with HotClues, but we did put the call out on the app and got a very promising tip.
Jake: Look, we're not going against our Captain.
John Kelly: So this guy says he saw someone covered in blood getting out of a Saturn Ion. But you don't need that tip because you are among the best detectives in the NYPD. [laughter]
Jake: You're right, we don't need that tip. But seriously, send us that tip. We need it.

Sergeant Jeffords: Hey, Brian. What are you up to?
Brian Floomryde: Typing in numbers into a computer. Like I always do endlessly for 40-60 hours a week.
Sergeant Jeffords: Well, when you love what you do, you don't work a day in your life. Unless, do you not love sad data entry?

Brian Floomryde: Well, my passion is performing. I do musical theater. It's the hardest form of acting.
Sergeant Jeffords: I agree. I am always saying, if you're not singing, you're not acting.

Sergeant Jeffords: You know Brian, this makes me think of something I saw on "Ellen." There was this lady, she wanted to be a cook, but her tongue was all messed up, and she had this friend who didn't even have a tongue I mean, she did, and now they own a taco truck in Lansing.
Brian Floomryde: Huh?
Sergeant Jeffords: Follow your dreams, man. You gotta follow your dreams. Find your taco truck.
Brian Floomryde: Wow. Thank you. That gives me a lot to think about. So what did you come down here for?
Sergeant Jeffords: Oh, uh, I had to borrow the water cooler.

Jake: [phone ringing] Oh, it's Holt. I didn't tell him what we were doing.
Charles: I'll act natural.
Jake: You're not gonna be on the phone call. Just do nothing. [answering phone] Hey, Captain.
Charles: What delicious water I'm drinking.
Jake: [growls] Sorry that we didn't check in before we left. We're just down at the DMV following up on the Saturn owners.
Captain Holt: Lies!

Captain Holt: Baba Booey? Is that a clue?
Jake: Uh, I don't know what Baba Booey means, actually.
Charles: It's a popular prank phrase from Howard Stern.
Jake: Charles.
Captain Holt: Oh, from a shock jock. Well, that changes everything. Now we have a credible break in the case. Baba Booey!

Captain Holt: Gentlemen, there's something I need to say. I gave you such a hard time about using Commissioner Kelly's app because I was being petty. I wanted him to fail and I took it out on you and for that I am very...
Jake: Oh. You kind of trailed off there, sir. Were you going to finish your sentence? It felt like you were going to say you were sorry.
Captain Holt: I did. Boyle heard it.
Charles: Uh, I would remember if someone said my catch phrase.
Captain Holt: Fine, I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.
Jake: Apology accepted. I am so proud of you.
Captain Holt: Peralta.
Jake: You're right. I'll rub it in later.

Caleb: Can I see that picture again? Oh man, those are some nice tools. I would love to spread some ribs using that sternum retractor, but they only sell those to hospitals.
Jake: Wait a minute. What did you just say?
Caleb: I said I'd love to get my little fingies in some chesties.
Jake: No, no, no. Not the super gross part. Surgery-grade tools, precise incisions around the heart, and there was no ice at the motel.
Captain Holt: Because the perp was using it for the hearts.
Jake: We're not looking for a serial killer. He stole the hearts for a transplant.

Captain Holt: NYPD!
Jake: Hands where we can see them!
Charles: There's a heart in the cooler.
Jake: Sorry, Rinaldi, the only transplant happening today is your ass to jail. He is definitely unconscious and didn't hear any of that. But I'm still pumped. Case closed. Let's go!