Fireman Curt: Okay, Amy. I know you're in a lot of pain, but we don't have any meds here. You just gotta try not to focus on it. Can you distract her?
Rosa: I got this. Hey, Amy, they come out with any new binders recently?
Amy: I don't want to talk about binders, Rosa.
Rosa: All right, that was my big gun. She's just gonna feel this.

Charles: This is it. My purpose is clear. I was put on this Earth to get you back in time to see your baby's birth.
Jake: I mean, you're a grown man with your own hopes and dreams.
Charles: My purpose is clear.
Jake: Okay.

Jake: You know, now that I'm up here, I realize I don't know how to ride a horse. It's probably pretty self-explanatory, right? Yah! Oh, no! Move! Everyone move, I don't know how to ride a horse!

Sergeant Jeffords: Hello? Anyone? We're stuck in the elevator!
Captain Holt: Can't you yell any louder? Use those big strong lungs you're always flexing.
Sergeant Jeffords: These are my pecs.
Captain Holt: So this is all just for show then. It has no functional purpose.
Sergeant Jeffords: I mean, I am pretty strong.
Captain Holt: Good, then rip those doors open.
Sergeant Jeffords: I can't do that.
Captain Holt: Oh, well at least you haven't dedicated a significant portion of your life to looking like this.

Sergeant Jeffords: What is with you?
Captain Holt: I'm sorry. This is a nightmare of mine. I have a phobia of elevators. It stems from a traumatic experience I had as a child.
[flashback:]
Young Holt: They only perform rated-load testing on city elevators every five years? Oh, my.
[present:]
Captain Holt: That was the last time I read the municipal code before bed. But... the damage was done.

Sergeant Jeffords: And those of you patrolling 7th Avenue, please be aware of the new pedal pubs. They're bike-powered mobile bars that are very popular with bachelorette parties. But unfortunately they have led to a dramatic increase in the rarely seen case of female public urination.
Rosa: Resist.

Amy: Captain, Lieutenant, the dance was great, and it really helped, thank you.
Jake: Dance? What dance?
Captain Holt: She doesn't know what she's talking about. Mommy brain much?
Sergeant Jeffords: Captain Holt and I did a hip-hop dance routine.
Jake: Oh. I see. You know what? I don't even care that I missed it, because right now, I am holding my son, and there's nothing more important in the world than that.
Rosa: I have a video, if you wanna see it.
Jake: Amy, hold this baby. Rosa, give me that phone. Give me that phone. Everyone wash your hands.

Rosa: They're happening every five minutes and they're lasting 20 seconds. Your baby's coming.
Amy: It's still not active labor. Don't worry! I'm not gonna have the baby here and get placenta all over your desk or whatever it is that you're afraid of.
Rosa: Wait, is placenta something that can get all over?
Amy: Actually, technically...
Rosa: You know what, don't answer that, I don't wanna know.

Scully: Aw, this ice cream is melting.
Hitchcock: Who cares? We can drink melted ice cream. We can't eat spoiled ham. We have to prioritize!
Scully: What if we combine them? Wrap the ice cream in the ham like a taquito.
Hitchcock: This man. This man is my best friend.
Rosa: You two are the worst people to have around in an emergency. I literally can't imagine a scenario where you'd be helpful.
Scully: Murder at a Cinnabon. Who would you call?
Rosa: Someone who wouldn't be distracted by the frosting.
Scully: Yeah, I do love that frosting.

Amy: So, only Captain Holt or Terry can initiate actual blackout protocol, but I don't see them anywhere.
Jake: Guys? Where did our dads go?

Dotty: Excuse me, my apartment is on the seventh floor, and the elevator isn't working. I'm getting cold.
Jake: Well, we're headed back to our precinct. There's emergency power if you want to wait there for the lights to come back on.
Charles: I'll get in back.
Dotty: I'm Dorothy, but my friends call me Dotty. Although these days there are fewer and fewer of them.
Jake: Charles? Uh, this is great, Dotty, but we're kind of in a hurry. My wife just went into labor and I want to get there in time for the birth.
Dotty: Why? The only man in the room should be the doctor.
Jake: Okay.
Dotty: All the dad needs to do is to make the money and have a nice, thick belt for when it's time to teach him a lesson.
Russ: My dad hit me with a belt. Soon as I got big enough, I shot him.
Jake: Wow, what a fun group for this, the most important day of my life.

Rosa: So, listen, I've been timing your contractions.
Amy: What? How? I've been hiding them so well.
Rosa: No, you have not.
[flashback:]
Amy: There's too much radio chatter. Let's try to keep non-emergency communications down to a... [groaning, snaps clipboard] .. minimum.

Jake: Wait, wait, wait, stop! The power's back.
Kayla: Oh, yuck, none of you are cute with the lights fully on.
Charles: You wanna play mean girl, Kayla? Two can play at that game. Let's talk about your bangs.

Amy: Status update: I called in every officer I could. I green-lit double shifts and overtime. We're coordinating with the 9-6 on traffic control. We haven't processed anyone, so there's a backlog of perps on the third floor, and I have to go to the hospital because my water broke.
Sergeant Jeffords: You're having a baby? Amy, this is so wond...
Amy: [screams]
Sergeant Jeffords: We can just catch up after the baby comes.
Amy: [exhales]

Charles: I can't see anything.
Jake: Me neither. We'll just have to rely on our other senses.
Charles: I call smell.
Jake: Okay, really jumped on that one. I wasn't gonna fight you for smell. I figured we'd just listen for sounds.
Charles: Pfft, good luck with that. [sniffs] Hmm. [sniffs] Yeah. [sniffs] Mm-hmm.
Jake: Okay.
Charles: How's it going over there? You hearing anything?
Jake: Yeah, I'm hearing you and your creepy sniffs.
Charles: Really? Well I'm smelling a lot of jealousy coming from your direction.
Jake: Sound to the left.
Charles: Smell to the left. [crashing sound]
Jake: NYPD, hands up.
Charles: [sniffs] Oh, yeah. We got him!
Jake: Charles.