Captain Holt: You see, the whole heist was a ruse for the perfect goodbye I planned.
Jake: I mean, it wasn't that perfect. A real perfect goodbye would've had...
Captain Holt: Sentimental gifts for everyone?
Jake: Damn it! Just tell us how you did it.
Captain Holt: Everything hinged on Jeffords. I needed him to drop out of the heist so he'd have access to everyone's secrets, which is why I set up a fake interview for him.
Sergeant Jeffords: You were working with Williams? But he locked us in his office.
Captain Holt: Which was critical to me gaining your trust so you'd tell me where the tube was hidden.
Sergeant Jeffords: Terry's reeling.
Captain Holt: Armed with that information, I texted Kevin who retrieved the tube and handed it off to a person who lured you all here and that person was a dog and that dog was Cheddar.
Sergeant Jeffords: Hold up. That big speech about how I'd make a great captain, that was all a lie?
Captain Holt: No, no, I meant every word of it. In fact, it's exactly what I said to the real Williams two weeks ago. It's part of the reason he decided to make you... the new captain of the Nine-Nine.
Sergeant Jeffords: Wait, what? Is this fake too? Y'all need to cut the [bleep] and be honest with me. This is my life we're talking about.