Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote 6155

Quote from Jake in the episode Cheddar

Jake: Now, let's find out what I'm worth. Oh, I'm too nervous to open it. Sarge, you do it.
Sergeant Jeffords: Okay. It's stock. One million shares!
Jake: Oh, my God!
Sergeant Jeffords: Of Blockbuster Video stock.
All: Ohh.
Jake: What? Is that bad? I still have a Blockbuster card! What happened to Blockbuster?

 Jake Quotes

Quote from the episode The Vulture

Rosa: Come on, Peralta! Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone. Except when it comes to sex. Actually, sometimes including sex.

Quote from the episode The Apartment

Captain Holt: Do you see me as a father figure, Peralta?
Jake: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure, because you're always bothering me.
Sergeant Jeffords: Hey, show your father some respect.
Jake: I didn't call him dad.
Captain Holt: No, no. Jacob, I take it as a compliment.
Charles: It's not a big deal. I called Vivian mom once and she's my fiancée.
Jake: Guys, jump on that. Boyle has psycho-sexual issues.
Amy: Old news. But you calling Holt daddy.
Jake: Hey, daddy is not on the table here.
Suspect: Well, you did call him dad, dude.
Jake: You shut up. You've done nothing but lie since you got here.
Suspect: Okay, I was lying about the hold-up, but the daddy thing that happened.
Jake: Ah-ha. He admitted the alibi was a lie. All part of my crazy, devious plan.
Captain Holt: I believed you-
Jake: Thank you.
Captain Holt: -son. You want to talk about it later over a game of catch?
Jake: I'd like that.

Quote from the episode AC/DC

Jake: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

 ‘Cheddar’ Quotes

Quote from Amy

Jake: All right, Rosa gets a motorcycle.
Amy: Oh, cool. I want a fast sports car.
Jake: Come on. You can be honest.
Amy: I want old, expensive books. I'll send you a list.
Jake: There you go.

Quote from Jake

Jake: Bonjour, Captain. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
Captain Holt: No, I don't want to sleep with you.
Jake: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

Quote from Adrian Pimento

Adrian Pimento: After what I've seen, after what I've done, I don't know that I deserve to be happy.
Sergeant Jeffords: Of course you do.
Adrian Pimento: Huh. I never looked at it that way. Wow. That changes everything.
Sergeant Jeffords: I never even finished my point.
Adrian Pimento: No, Sarge, you said it all. You just changed my life.

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