Jake: Look, I promised Amy I could get everything done, and I definitely can't.
Breaking promises is how marriages end, not how they start!
Sergeant Jeffords: What is that?
Jake: I have 143 tasks to get through in the next 12 hours. I set a recurring alarm so I know how fast I should be moving.
Sergeant Jeffords: Well, how's that going?
Jake: Not well. I'm already three tasks behind and the alarms keep piling up. It's kind of making me feel a little bit stressed out. Please help me, Sarge. Please. Come on, you're, like, the best husband ever. You're, like, the Tiger Woods of being a husband. What he was to golf, not what he was to being a husband.