Jake: Every other big decision I've made in my life I was sure about: becoming a cop, asking you to marry me, buying those Jordan 1s for $500.
Amy: Wait, you spent $500 on sneakers?
Jake: Yeah, they were so cool, and if I had never worn them, they would have kept their value.
Amy: So they lost their value?
Jake: Yes, all of it. I stepped in a puddle as soon as I left the store.