Captain C.J. Jason Stentley: Hey, could we stop and get a Slushee? It's just that you guys kinda made me drop it back there.
Amy: What the hell was that, C.J.?
Captain C.J. Jason Stentley: I'm sorry! I didn't know it was you. You were supposed to be in gorilla masks.
Jake: Okay, so, let me get this straight. You thought that we were real kidnappers who showed up at the exact time that we planned a fake kidnapping?
Captain C.J. Jason Stentley: Exactly. You get it. He gets it.

Jake: Hitchcock, can you top it?
Hitchcock: Mine has mother's hospital bed.
Amy: Okay, Scully?
Scully: I got this one red door I've never been able to open and I hear screams behind it sometimes. But it's probably just the wind.
Jake: Okay, that's actually too scary.

Madeline Wuntch: Oh, Raymond, that you came to me to ask for help shows how much you've matured. You know what else shows how much you've matured? Your withered face.
Captain Holt: Now I know why you refer to this as a Suicide Squad, Peralta, because I already want to kill myself.
Madeline Wuntch: Why don't you wait a week? You'll probably die of old age.
Captain Holt: The only way I'm going to die is if you touch me with one of your bony fingers and drag me across the River Styx, you reaper.

Amy: Oh, wait. Before we decide Scully, what's your basement like?
Scully: Bunch of old Victorian wallpaper that came with the house. I tried to peel it off, but the wall underneath was covered with fingernail scratches.
Amy: Ooh.