Scully Quotes Page 1 of 15

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Quote from the episode Suicide Squad

Jake: Hitchcock, can you top it?
Hitchcock: Mine has mother's hospital bed.
Amy: Okay, Scully?
Scully: I got this one red door I've never been able to open and I hear screams behind it sometimes. But it's probably just the wind.
Jake: Okay, that's actually too scary.

Quote from the episode Lockdown

Amy: Oh, so your plan is to not take this seriously at all?
Jake: Oh, I am as serious as a heart attack. No offense, Scully.
Scully: Nah. Mine are never that serious. I call 'em "oopsies".

Quote from the episode Sabotage

Hitchcock: All that investigating was exhausting. Besides, we did our share of that in the seventies and eighties. Now, we like to do paperwork in our comfy chairs.
Scully: If we're away from our desks for too long, they'll update our computers and we'll lose Minesweeper.

Quote from the episode M.E. Time

Scully: Well, how do you know he's even in a bad mood? It's impossible to read that guy.
-cut to-
Captain Holt: This is the most incompetent, worthless report I have ever read in my life. Get your act together, or so help me God, you won't live to see retirement.
-cut to-
Scully: It's like, what's the guy thinking? You know?

Quote from the episode Sabotage

Charles: I gotta say. You guys are good cops.
Hitchcock: Yeah, no doy. How do you think we got to be the oldest guys here?
Charles: By never being promoted and losing all your money to divorces.
Scully: And bad investments.

Quote from the episode Monster in the Closet

Amy: Scully and Hitchcock, you're in charge of seating.
Scully: Smart move, Amy. I've been called the Leonardo da Vinci of sitting on my ass.

Quote from the episode Sabotage

Scully: You called us useless. You called us incompetent. You called us zeroes in the sack.
Charles: Never happened.
Scully: Well, someone said it to me last night. Oh, must have been my wife.

Quote from the episode Blue Flu

Captain Holt: The union made it up as a power move. O'Sullivan wants me to issue a statement of public support for the officer, to give them all extra hazard pay and to wear this "Never Forget Burrito" ribbon.
Scully: Weird. It's the exact same color as my Color Blind Awareness ribbon.
Captain Holt: No, it isn't.

Quote from the episode Greg and Larry

Jake: H is for Holt. He's leading us right to him. Now all we have to do is follow the trail of chocolate.
Scully: This, this is why I became a cop.

Quote from the episode Suicide Squad

Amy: Oh, wait. Before we decide Scully, what's your basement like?
Scully: Bunch of old Victorian wallpaper that came with the house. I tried to peel it off, but the wall underneath was covered with fingernail scratches.
Amy: Ooh.

Quote from the episode Bad Beat

Scully: I miss my home chair.
Rosa: You miss a chair?

Quote from the episode Halloween

Amy: I passed a slutty tree on the way here. Who wants to have sex with a tree?
Scully: Was it a maple?

Quote from the episode Lockdown

Jake: We're doing fine here.
Scully: Not Hitchcock. He got trapped out on the balcony. I don't like him alone out there, not with his history. I mean, what if he gets up on a ledge?
Jake: What, you think he's gonna jump?
Scully: No, he's just always falling off things. He's got a worm living in his ear that affects his balance.

Quote from the episode Honeymoon

Scully: Hey, Gina. Did you see "Real Housewives" last night? If she says no, then ask about "Below Deck."
Gina: What are you doing?
Scully: She's getting suspicious, Scully. Act natural.
Gina: Are you wearing an earpiece?
Scully: Tell her no. Scully, stop saying what I'm saying. Be normal.

Quote from the episode Greg and Larry

Jake: Wait, getting a text. It's Captain Holt.
Rosa: Where is he? What'd he say?
Jake: "Inib rue tiid." Wait, I'm getting another one. "Ink obrvs whiz." These are nonsense.
Scully: He's been gagged.
Jake: How would that come through in a text, Scully?

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